A Lolmas Poem by Grantski

Grantski says:

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Mr. Snuggles was stirring, chasing a mouse;

He shredded the stockings by the chimney with care,

In hopes that sum candy would be in there;

The kittehs were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of cheezburgers danced in their heads;

And the humans in their room, goggie in their laps

Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

Snuggles sprang from the room to deal with the matter.

Away to the window he flew like a flash,

He Shredded the shutters and shredded the sash.

The Christmas lights shining on all of the snow

Gave the lustre of snow-cones to Mr. Snuggles below

Then he looked up and saw it, flying through sleet

A gigantic cheezburger, and it looked good to eat!

Snuggles saw a driver, and a red fuzzy hat

He knew in a moment it must be Santacat!

More rapid than The CCC, his reindonkeys came

And Santacat Purred, and called them by name

“Now, Tasty! now, Kafleen! now, Scrumptious! and Yummy!

This house has cookies to fill up my tummy!

To the cookies and milk, I WANT THEM ALL!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”

So up to the rooftop the Reindonkeys flew,

With the cheezeburger full of goodies, and Santacat too.

And then, in a Braying, Snuggles heard on the roof

The stomping and pawing of each little hoof.

As snuggles stopped drooling, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Santacat came with a bound.

He looked side to side, and turned on the light,

found the plate of cookies, and took a big bite.

He had painted his fur red, from his head to his paws,

And his Hat bore the marks of little goggie claws

A bundle of burgers he had flung on his back,

And he seemed like he was enjoying his snack.

His eyes were so innocent, he made Snuggles merry

His cheeks were inflated, and he looked like a cherry!

His kitty-cat mouth was savoring milk

And his fur looked so wavy, as if it were silk

The end of a burger he held in his teeth,

And melted cheez covered his face like a wreath;

He had a kitteh face and a plump, round belly,

That shook when he Purred, like a Tub full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old cat,

Snuggles Meowed when he saw him, and shredded his hat.

The gaze of his eye, and whiskers that moved

Let Snuggles know that Santacat didn’t approve.

He Meowed once more, and on his face was a smirk,

He stitched all the stockings, fixing snuggles’ hard work.

And laying his paw aside of his nose,

And giving a Meow, up the chimney he rose.

He ran to his sleigh, and purred at his team,

And away the reindonkeys flew, all led by Kafleen.

But I heard him Meow!, ere he flew out of sight,

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!
No, Kafleen, don’t press that button!”


14 thoughts on “A Lolmas Poem by Grantski

  1. @@@@@@@@@@@


     okay, somebody help me up off the floor now, please? 
  3. ENCORE!!! ENCORE!!!!!
    Dat is teh Bestest moast wunnerful Lolmas powim I has ebber heerd!!
    all teh burgerz R belong to yoo 😀

    • O hai, Grantski! I sended u a e-mail on teh day u posted this on ICHC to axe if it was ok to put here but I didnot hear back. It was just so good I figgered it needed to be shared and that it could be yoinked if u didnot want it here. So I did it. STN


      • *squirms around a little* I dun check my email at all…….I have…….1548 unread inbox messages. Its not really the best way to contact me..

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