Nupdate on owr Donkey Gurl

U.. skyooze meh…I cud heist dis lol 4 a minnit??? Fanks muches..
*
***Heer comes a nupdate on owr donkey gurl***

I talkd to owr deer donkey last nite.. Her iz doing bery, bery well an iz glad to be going home soon frum teh horse spittle… maibe eben todai. She is ankshus to be bak in Cheezland talking an playing wif her frenz once agin. Taht iz wut she haz mist most ov awl!
I fink sum ov u has alreddy gest dat owr frend had dun sumfing to hurt herz sweet self while fiting teh demons of teh ‘giant sad’ an alkohol.. Lukky for awl ov us, she iz still heer wif us.. adn wantz u to nowe taht she now haz a new leese on life..
Kafleen haz alwaiz bin dere 4 us.. lifting spiritz an passing owt a “hoofing” wen needid, an ai nowe u will be tehre 4 her when she comes bak home to Cheezland..

Being a most honest donkey~she wanted u to nowe wut happind.

wif luvluvluv .. I returnz u to ur reglar skeduld LOLz ..

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14 thoughts on “Nupdate on owr Donkey Gurl

  1. I am posting anonymously because I am still not as brave as dear Kafleen to admit my weaknesses. I want to tell her that she has overcome one of the HUGEST challenges that I know of. I, myself, am plagued by the pleh-pression, and more often than not, struggle with the same thoughts of self-harm. I keep it private, and share parts of that pain with my therapist, but have never told anybody COMPLETELY about how deeply the hurt and dispair affects me.

    Kafleen, there is NOTHING more courageous and brave than dragging up the will to live when EVERYTHING about you screams to give up. Your body, soul, mind, spirit – EVERYTHING. Everyday, I fight that fight – and, if you’d met me, I think you’d be VERY surprised to learn that. I have a constant fear that one day, I won’t have the energy to keep fighting. My life IS good, but my brain tells me it’s not.

    YOU have won a battle in a lifelong war that is incredibly important and pivotal. Please know that not only do I envy your amazing strength, but I also wish that I could have just a tiny percent of your courage.

    PLEASE be proud of yourself. You have accomplished more than any of us know.

    Bless you.

    • I’m in touch with Kafleen through other emails, so I hope you won’t mind if I speak here to Anonymous.

      My dear Anonymous, if there is only one gift I can ever share with you, please let it be the following. I have battled depression since I was about 7 or 8 years old; I’m now 53. This is what I know:

      Depression is NOT a weakness. Depression is NOT a character flaw. Depression is NOT something you can choose to ‘snap out of’. Depression is NOT something you can ‘cure’ yourself of by ‘just’ thinking cheery thoughts. Depression is NOT something you have to apologise for, feel ashamed of, or feel guilty about. Depression is NOT some kind of serves-you-right punishment for ‘not trying hard enough’.

      Depression is a PHYSICAL illness. And while medical science may not yet be able to pinpoint exactly where and how it happens, all the evidence is that it is caused by and in the brain, a physical organ, and is due to its inability to properly process certain neurochemicals. And those of us who suffer from it do NOT need to feel ashamed or guilty that one of our physical organs is malfunctioning, because we did NOT cause that to happen.

      I’m very glad that you talk to a counsellor – please continue on your courageous path, and share ever last scrap of your pain with them, so that they can have a clear understanding of how to help you. Please be open to the possibility of antidepressant drug support – this is NOT a cop-out or a sign of ‘weakness’, it’s the equivalent of diabetics taking insulin when needed.

      I’ve spent most of my life with thoughts of suicide, and I made two ‘attempts’, when I was 16 and 26. The reason I’m still alive is that, really, I didn’t want to die – I just wanted the pain to stop (or at least ease up) – and I chose methods that allowed plenty of time for someone to find and save me. They weren’t really attemps to die, they were screams that I was in pain and needed help. Talk-therapy helped and still helps a great deal, but it is the antidepressants that helped overcome the obsessive and delusional thoughts brought on by faulty serotonin processing.

      I’m glad to help you in any way I can – please contact me on my profile if you would like us to talk off-site. {{{{{{{{{{Anonymous}}}}}}}}}}

      • NiceWitch,
        What a wonderful and kind note you’ve written. Surely it benefits not only me, but also others who may feel even a small bit the same way.

        You have hit the nail on the head with EVERY single one of your thoughts. And, I hope Kafleen finds value in your wisdom as well. Or at least realizes that your support is such a wonderful expression of friendship. No doubt she does – she is much loved.

        I am currently taking medicines, but have not had much luck with them. I am continuing to try, because that’s the best we can do. There are other options that might be successful aside from medicines, and I am open to them as well. I WANT to feel better, but as you’d said, sometimes, I just can’t stand the sadness, and I lose perspective.

        I will contact you through your profile soon. I am grateful for your kindness, understanding and insight. Your strength is so admirable and Kafleen is lucky to have you in her life as much as we are all lucky to have HER in ours.

      • Dear Anonymous,

        I have been taking anti-depression medication since 11 February 2007 (yes, quite a memorable day as it was a Sunday, I had to go to an emergency clinic and screamed down the whole waiting room when I thought they didn’t want to give me anything) and I can’t tell you how many times I had to switch – I’ve certainly had at least 8 different meds and combinations prescribed by various doctors – I had to keep changing doctors because often I felt they didn’t really “see” me or even listen to what I had to say about the side effect. Some meds make me lose all interest in the other sex (great if you want to become a nun, otherwise – nawt so great), some made me sleep 15 hours nonstop at the weekend (at least you don’t have the time or energy to do anything harmful to you). Now I’ve got quite a good combination, but I won’t hold my breath – sometimes the meds stop being effective, don’t know why. So if your meds are not worknig as good as they should, write down what you notice about them (do you feel sluggish? Sad? No energy? Tired? …) and talk to your doctor. Change doctors if need be. Feel free to come back here to discuss things. And oh, I have a good website about anti-depressants in the US and their well-known and not so known side effects. It’s at home, though, so I’ll post it later.

        Know that you are loved and appreciated, no matter what.

        Lubs from Upfi

  2. Dear idansdansdans and Kafleen,

    Ai has a big happi that Kafleen has been posting again. Ai noed about teh horse pittle cos idansdansdans told us so, ai din’t noes that mai belubbed dawnkey was so beset bai demons she tried to hurt hurself and ai din’t noes ab00t teh alcomaul. But ai has a big proud of how open our Kafleen is ab00t hur problems!!!! Please know that as a depressed little caterpiggly ai shares some of Kafleen’s and anon’s demons and that ai fink it would do teh whirled gud if moar peeps spoke out about wot it means to be depressed and to consider hurting themselves. Then other peeps would hopefully understand bettur and find bettur ways of halping or dealing wif lubbed wuns who are suffering. AI is glad about the cheezfrenz cos they is AWLWAYS there iffn sumbuddy is in trouble and needs support. We is awl surrounded bai cheezlove, thanks be to CC or whichebber deity u be wanting to thank.

    Lubs and hugs to awl from Upfi

  3. Nawt sekund, YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! She’s bak!!!!!

    Sekund, ai gots a lettur frum her yestrdai dat she rotes me frum teh horspital. it wuz very sweet an luving like she always is. ai iz gonna tresur it furevar.

    Den, ai iz so proud to has teh donkey an evrwun els heer an awn cheezfrenz and teh fasebuk site, an awn ICHC fur mai frenz. yu ar so beautiful and strong, iz a wunnerful thing to haz yu.

    *massive worldwide hugs*

    luvs,
    whiskers

  4. Ai noez dat donkees r bery strong adn bery stubborn. Naow Ai noez dat dey bii bery, bery brave tuu. Well come bak Kafleen, wii lubs yu adn missed yu.

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{donkey gurl}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  5. Kafleen- Ai has a beeg prowd ob yuu! Fur fiting nad fur bein so opin. Wen yu iz opin nad onest, dere iz noffin tu bii ashamed ov. Iffen yu duzz int hab da strengf, wii will haz et fur yu. Wii bi sellfish dat wai- wii wantz yu here wif us.

    ***Whistels off-key bersion of Billy Joel’s song, ‘Second wind’.***
    {{{Kafleen}}}
    {{idansdansdans}} fur keepin us updated- fanks!

  6. thank you SO MUCH, everybuddy, especially you, anonymuss. I am trying to write to everyone and thank them butt it bee bizzy wurk. Sum will get emails, sum cards, sum ecards, sum thread comments. I has a biiiig confusion too, cuz ub mah meds.

    I has posted a long rambling bit about my story on my blog at http://kafleen.wordpress.com if anybuddy has a curious.

  7. I have been a very bad Martoonie and not paying attention so I missed this – Kathleen I’m so glad you are back home safe and still with us. I want you to know that your cheezfriends love you and would miss you enormously, and will also do all that we can to help you deal with the pleh. I have two people very close to me in similar situations and I know how difficult it can be to see any positives at times. But we are all here for you – please don’t be afraid to ask for help.

    {{{{Kafleen}}}}

    SJ / Martoonie

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