*Walks in slowly, with head down and tears flowing down cheeks*
Ohai, my cween. My heart is filled with sadness because it is time to make final plans for my beloved Smudge, our long-haired white kitteh. We have decided to give him the best possible last few days with us before arranging to have him cross the Rainbow Bridge here at home.
Smudge has been a part of our lives for 15 1/2 years. We adopted him from a local shelter when he was an itteh bitteh kitteh of 8 weeks. He has brought so much joy into our lives. When he was diagnosed with diabetes and heart failure 2 1/2 years ago, we armed ourselves with as much information as possible, and were able to stabilize his diabetes, which made his heart good as new. Since then, 95% of his days have been gudgudgud, full of purrs and chirps and bouncing around. A couple of weeks ago, he started on a downward spiral, which led to him not eating, being lethargic, and walking like a little old man.
Today, for the first time, he did not come into the kitchen for his morning food and insulin. Hubcat and I took him to an emergency pet clinic, where they poked and prodded and x-rayed and ultra-sounded. Diagnosis: lymphoma of the liver, anemia, and problems with his spleen and intestines. We were blindsided. Cancer!!?!! He’s been doing so well, and now this??? Not fair!!!
The doctor was very kind, and said that she would not recommend anything involving sedation, as he likely would not survive given his age and other medical problems. With a less than 50/50 chance of having, at most, another year, but one filled with chemo, more tests, etc., we made the decision to not pursue aggressive treatment, but to bring him home. We’re trying to make his last few days as comfy as possible, making sure he sleeps in sunbeams in all of his favorite spots and giving him all the love and rubs he can handle.
The thing I’m struggling with is knowing when the “right” time is. I don’t want him to suffer. My heart is breaking.