Humor and Guidelines

Now that the dust haz settled frum deh latest fracas, Ifinso I wud like tu haz a discussion about humor and guidelines fur Cheezland. It am a shame that wii haz lost a vital part of ower community because of a misunderstanding about commenting guidelines and wut am funny.

Humor am a berry subjectibe fing. Wut wun person finds funny mite nawt b funny to sumwun else.  F’rinstance, take deh whole Monty Python fing.  I don’t care fur it.  Neber haz.  Duz dat meen dat any and awl references to Monty Python shud b thrown owt becuz dis peep nawt care for it?  Uv korse nawt!   Lotsa peeps enjoy it, and I kin just ignore it.  Likewize, the alfabet lists and deh Mad Libz.  I iz shur nawt ebbree cheezpeep likes dem.  But there am no point taking dem owt uv Cheezland wen deh peepz hoo nawt like dem can ignore dem and dey provide fun fur doze hoo duz like dem.

Ower primary rule haz awlwayz ben Play Nice.  I have taken dat tu mean dat wii nawt cawl ee chudder nawt-nice names.  And nawt b racist or sexist or stuff like dat dhere.  But wii haz awlwayz ben a little racy and sexy.  After awl, wii am humanz.  And fur deh most part wii am adults.  Dhere am a reezin wii haz deh Nawty Barn — and YNGz doing deh ironing am nawt really it!  Wii keepz fingz PG-13 and dat seemz to mii to b about rite — deh yungest commenters wii get am about 12 or 13 yrz old.  I think sexual innuendo haz itz place in Cheezland and I fur wun wud hate tu see a sterilized Cheezland wif no need fur deh Nawty Barn.

What exactly do ​wii meen bai No Politics? I awlwayz took it to mean no discussion of political campaigns and policies. It wuz furst implemented in ICHC wen sum Democrats were making really snarky comments about Sarah Palin and Republicans in general. That made teh conservatives in the group feel very much unwelcome. But it seems that it now meanz no mention of any person of any political perswayshun, dead or alive.   ​I think clarification of this point is important.  Where duz wii draw deh line?  Am TTI’z Royal Fambly considered political?

Duz No Religion mean no preaching and/or prostlitizing; or duz it mean no references to any gods? Wut about Ceiling Cat? iz hii a god? Can wii say OMG or OMCC?  If sumwun am habbing a load uv carp dumped on dem, can sumwun else say “I will pray for yoo”?  Whut about Christmas and deh Pope and Easter and Passover adn Jeezus Kriyst?  iz mention of those religious days and peepz to b censored?  Can wii tell jokes dat start wif “A priest, a nun and a rabbi…”, or mite dat offend sumwun?   Where shud deh line b drawn?

Am awl current events nawt allowed to b mentioned in case it mite b a sensitive topic tu sumwun?  Do wii need a list uv forbidden topics and forbidden words?  Shud comments b edited and/or censored bai deh admin weneber shii seez fit, or only if sumwun complains?

Wut duz u think??  Please comment on dis subject.  Wii haz lost SirNativeCa66, ElsaMama, Gunnersmama and deh Adorablol Smudgie becuz uv missunderstandingz about deh rulez and morés of Cheezland.  I miss deze peepz enormously and don’t want to lose anywun else.
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93 thoughts on “Humor and Guidelines

  1. Jackie and I were talking earlier about clarifying the rules on Cheezland and rewriting the Site Rules – based on comments made publicly and emails received privately.

    I was unaware that gunnersmama had also decided to leave the site and the community – that was a bit of a shock to see.

    I do feel a need to clarify something right now. I rarely intervene in what happens on Cheezland. When I do, it’s because I see something that I have reason to believe is going to upset people. I’m basing that on previous incidents on Cheezland that some people might have missed and/or on things that have been said to me via email that are not public knowledge.

    When I do intervene, it is typically with a polite suggestion to change the topic, not with an abrupt editing or removal of comments. There have been a couple of exceptions, in the case of things that either went against very express rules or that I was certain would be very quickly distressing – the posting of a random announcement about an animal in need of rescue comes to mind, one that was immediately after the US election and blatantly political, one that was an outright nasty and insulting comment about the current lol, and one that was probably made innocently but was likely to stir up a previous uncomfortable moment. In that case, I email the person and explain – if given the time to do so, which in one case was an issue since it was being repeated faster than I could type the email. Anything else I have edited has been AFTER someone has been asked to leave a subject alone and has ignored that.

    For the most part, when subjects wander into racy areas, I tend to let it go. As far as the most recent incident, please note that I did not 1) edit or remove any comments, and 2) I spoke up with a reminder about the No Politics rule only after it was clearly becoming a running thread rather than a couple of passing comments.

    At this point, I’ve been told by enough people that Cheezland being a safe place is something they really LIKE that I’m not inclined to spend a lot more time defending myself and my actions.

    I will do my best to clarify the rules of Cheezland in the very near future. Since we’re putting considerable thought into it, it’s not happening overnight. They aren’t going to really be a change from the way things have been but we will try to make them as clear as possible.

    For the record, judging by the emails I’ve received, the whole political “joking” thing made a number of people highly uncomfortable, including but not limited to both Upfi and honeycakerabbit re: Hitler.

    I don’t want anyone feeling unwelcome or excluded. But that includes, on the rare occasions when I see something problematic, taking steps to head it off before that content makes others feel unwelcome or excluded.

    That said, I’m really not sure this is a useful subject for debate at this point – I think it’s actually more likely to stir up more bad feelings. I think healing is a higher priority.

    As for those who feel unwelcome – I’ll do my best to make the rules clear. The door is always open.

    • I wuz hoping to get a conversation going with the cheezpeepz on a neutral grownd. You have made your case in Cheezland. I would like to hear how the peepz feel about the various subjects and where they think the lines should b drawn. A vague “keep Cheezland a safe place” does not clarify anything nor tell us wut they want.

      Az I said, wii have lost enough people and I dont want to lose more.

  2. *getz up on soap bawx, kleerz froat*

    LOLSPEAK OFF

    Play nice should suffice.

    Beating ANYONE (on or off these kitty sites) over the head with their “beliefs” is a definite no-no. I think that’s called trolling – cannot and should not be tolerated; subliminal messages, so-called ‘reading between the lines’, warnings and such fall into that category.

    A place of refuge such as this cannot exist for long if the commentators don’t feel safe.

    Look, we are ALL feeling a bit nervous and angry these days over what is going on over the entire planet. I’m thinking that many peeps are wondering in the back of their heads just how long we have left before our ‘Changing Earth’ changes our lives forever. I do, for sure. Of course, there are also occurrences and speeches on TV that infuriate many because of lies, distortions and just plain bad nature.

    That holds true for those who can’t manage to keep their dislikes to themselves. one who tries to down another, even for ‘fun’, is making themselves out to be even worse than the one who is being attacked, they are being pity(ful) not witty. They need to be warned the first time, because they may have accidentally misspoke. The second time they need to be booted for whatever length of time.

    The best thing we can do is to keep in mind that we all feel kind of depressed and to feel better we need to make others feel better first! I refuse to concern myself with mean spirited things people say; they are in another boat than me… than us!

    *Getz off soap bawx*

    LOLSPEAK ON

  3. Cween, aifinks dat openness tu ovvers peepz ideers adn points ob view enhances my life. Adn aifinks dat hazzing a sense ob hyoomer abowt wut’s going on in teh whirrld halps mii get fru it.

    Ai duzzint comment a lot, butt ai iz kwite teh lurker. Ai enjoy awl teh CheezPeepz, eech for different reesons, eech for dair own voice. Sometimes dey make me see ways ob luuking at fings dat ai nebber thot ob before, adn it makes mii feel good. Sometimes ai see fings dat duzzint strike mii as ufny, sew ai moov on tu teh neggst fred, no harm, no fowl.

    Mebbee teh key iz just remembering tu respect ovver peepolz ideers adn tu b sensitive tu wut ovvers are feeling, butt aifinks dat haz always been teh Cheezland way, anyway. Ai rilly duzzint finks dat ai haz red anyfing dat ai thot wuz intentionally hurtful. Just “horseplay” wif werds dat got owt ob hand in teh heet ob a moment. Butt wii awl get carryed away adn make mistakes, don’t wii? Ai kno ai dew.

    Ai’m gonna miss owr CheezFrendz. Ai’m nawt trying tu choose sides oar retrace steps adn missteps, ai just wanted tu say dat frends make mistakes, butt we still lubbs dem. Adn wen dey ar gone, wii miss dem. Dey leev a hole behind. Dey prolly miss us tew. Ai wood always hopes teh door iz open for peepz tu come back, adn kno dat dey still haz owr unconditional lubbs. We’re famblee, owr liddol community.

    Getting fru deze fings iz hao wii gro adn bond. Ai lubbs awl ob owr Cheezfrendz, ebben ifn dey nawt agree wif mii…

    • Whut Bayshang said.

      I’m one of the Germans here and all references to the second World War remind me of the incredible guilt we as a nation have incurred by killing millions of Jews, Communists, Homosexuals or other “undesirable” characters. We started that war. I dare not make a joke about it. Often, I find other people’s jokes funny or at least chuckle-worthy, but I myself couldn’t make them or only in a very safe environment where I would be sure that nobody could be offended.

      Germans still discuss whether it’s ok to make jokes about Hitler. Those of you who know Charlie Chaplin’s film “The great dictator”: It’s a masterpiece in demasking dictators in general, although it was clearly directed at Hitler. I laugh when I see it and I cringe inwardly. Still, I think humor is necessary to overcome grief and sorrow and many survivors of the Holocaust and German concentration camps have shown a remarkable sense of humor about their fat. I’m usually fine with others making jokes. Of course, we can never be sure whether some lurker or occasional reader takes offence. But then, none of us can read minds. Should that stop us from making a joke? I think not. I have put my foot in it too many times already. Be careful, but know neither you nor anybody else can’t get it right every time.

      Sorry for the wandering and confused opinion.

      Live, love, LOL.

  4. I think this is another helpful opportunity. We all have a way to review all responses to this worthy topic and finkfinkfink without worry of upsetting the groove of the lols. Taking us to the sidelines with an open revolving door is good for us and the place we’ve enjoyed.

    This is tough!

    I’ve long admired how a place like CL largely remained peaceful with the rules boiled down to its simplest “play nice”.

    I ask for continued patience with one another as our connections to one another depend a virtual gathering place for us. In reality, it’s difficult to gauge one another with 100% accuracy face to face, however can we without countless deep breaths expect to gauge the humor or boundary of what’s ok with one another with only modest virtual representations of ourselves?

    Writing and clarifying rules for a community like ours i imagine can be a moumental exercise. I’ve memorized, edited & compiled employee handbooks ~ i’d rather not us have to be led chapter & verse to what’s not ok where because of exactly what. I do NOT belittle Steph’s efforts to best serve our community, i understand and value her desire to keep it as best for us.

    Timing and stylistic approach might be a worthier area in all this to work through? I understand Steph you’ve tried to reign us in in kind ways. I think, however, previous misunderstandings — and that’s all these are really, aren’t they? — may have come perceived as a public spanking. I mighta deserved it, but i’d have to be mire grown than i might be and dig deep for my cajones (that i don’t really have (so far as i know) and return to CL to play and contribute to despite my public humiliation.

    • Bravo, Roofie!!! Spoken like a truly brave and big hearted kitteh! Like Bay, I’m a lurker, coming out from under the sofa only on rare occashuns. But I reed!!!! And I’d hate to not be able to read you!!! 🙂 {{{{{{{{{{Roofie}}}}}}}}}}

      PS Yew iz nawt ben humiliateded *Boop!*

    • {{{{{Roofie}}}}} It iz berry hard to judge deh facial expression uv sumwun who u only see thru deh typed word and a handful uv emoticons. Wii haz to remember dat Cheezpeepz am deh warmest, kindest, most lubbing peepz on earth. If u ebber think a Cheezpeep haz sed sumfing deliberately unkind, u needz tu think agin.

  5. Damb this foan!!

    Anyhoo, i need to hurry the haaaall up before dis foan cuts out on me agin, bah!!

    1. Mebbeh in touchie incidents like our most recent one, scramble even-minded Switzerland-neutral mediators to moe tge misunderstanding off Lol and later let the other peeps not directly involved how the incident was resolved or how it may be involving. Including others’ 2 cents might be good to encourage value of our voice and hearing one another.
    2. How peeps do we delineate perceived ill manners from A.D.D.? FRICK!!! i get bashed by my FAMILY members all the time and it’staken most of my life to understand they don’t really MEAN to make my blood boil, we just have STYLISTIC differences. And varying levels of A.D.D. and/or Turrets. and/or shyness.

    My point is the greater the space we can give/forgive our perceived boo-boos, ifinkso it won’t be bad. Especially if we continue to power thru ensemble.

    3. Also, i recall many a time i or someone else may have blundered and i wiz teachifyd nicely or annoyingly from another cheezeh who wasn’ pk. So like pk can call on others of us to halp nudge the playful running towards certain offense of SOMEone. On one of my fave reality tv programs Turtleman and 4 friends wurkt togeffur to catch an escaypifyd OSTRICH. It twernt easy, it was WURKITY, but they got her safely and it wss awsum! I KNOOOE wii can du dis! I belkeb in cheezeh peeplol, i du!

  6. Bloody…finger!! icutmyselflastnite dis phone is killink me!!!

    I end for now with the thought that narrowing the space of our usually safe & okay expressions might feel like getting our feffers involuntarily clipped. Or being declawed and passed over for having better sense to not scratch others.

    Hokay. Thanks for letting me add my 2 cents. 22 cents?

    Luff ♥, Roofie

    I want awl my entire not purrfikleh functioning hooman cheezeh fambily back!!!

  7. Umm – prysma worked bery hard to make.us a place to play in. Now peeps are upset becauz it’s nawt eggzactlee like you wants it?

    Dats nawt being fayr an now peeps are making her kri. She is so stressed dat she dusn’t wants to go an post lols becuz peeps will criticize her. I
    wasn’t dere when whatever happend happend. But whut abowt her feelings? She duz het bestest, an now you wants to tell her whut to do. Dat dusn’t seem like cheezlub to me.

    I finkso we needs to take a break, unnerstands dat no wun meaned to hurt ennywun onna porpoise, an calms down.

    • wendyzski, wii awl lubbs prysma, adn finks shii duz a wunnerful job!! Butt, a lot ob us ar crying, adn wii just want tu has a dicussion abowt owr feelings, dats awl. Wii lubbs eech ovver!

      • There is discussing feelings and discussing how the site SHOULD be run (this topic on guidelines). Has Wendyski said she is very stressed … actually has been crying on and off since this whole issue started, and pretty much straight since the notification of this topic has reached her email. usually I can try and calm here … but perhaps the extra hormones or something, I am just has riled up (perhaps more so) than she is … and I am the one who is Zen and such *giggles

        This topic could not have come at a worse time, honestly (this is part of a much longer comment I was writing, but what the hey … I might has well start to get warnings early). Has Steph mentioned in the 2nd message here we were talking about clarifying the guidelines. The main guidelines are play nice still … and always will be. Truly, any nasty comment, attack or insult can be “forgiven” has I was just joking without some sort of guidelines

        If a topic was going to be posted about our pain and how we miss those who have decided to leave that was one thing … if we are going to tear down Steph and tell her how to run the site hmmm that is different then talking about our feelings

        honestly I don’t think blindsiding her with this was far from “playing nice”

    • {{{{{wendyski}}}}} It wuz nawt mai intent to upset Prysma. But I will point out that deh masthead of Cheezland sez: “BY THE CHEEZPEEPS, FOR THE CHEEZPEEPS!” If it am a tu b truly BY the Cheezpeepz, shurly it shud b responsive to deh desires uv deh Cheezpeepz.

      I say agin, mai purpose heer am to allow deh Cheezpeeps deh opportunity to say how they expect the comments to b moderated.

      I kri ebbreetime I lose a Cheezfrend!! I haz losted too menny Cheezfrends bekause uf misunderstanding uv deh commenting guidelines and I DON’T WANT TO LOSE ANY MORE!!!!!

      • But now she has a kri too, an maybe she nawt wants us to come over enny mores. Dat wud be sad.

        Ennywin can sau whit sumwin else shud do. What wud be more helpifying mit be for peeps to offer to helps her. Like maybe we has 3 peeps who agrees to help, an we asks het to put inns ‘dis makes me sad’ button. Dose peeps wud hav to agree befor
        ennyfing changrs.
        (Stiff below pls to ignorr – I rites better inna mimnit)

        Suall
        Becus if you hasa weekly bk klub at sumwuns howse, an your hostu

        • If you hada book klub, an yor hostess always makes dat weerd chees dip you don’t reely like – you duzn’t go ‘you is nawt doin it rite – yoo neefs to do it dis way’. Dats nawt nice. Yoo also dusnt get evruwun togedder at a bbq an complains abowt how you nawt likes het cheesdip.

          De polite fing would be to ask.your hostess ‘hey – can I helps an brings the snak dis week?

          • Yesh, mediators can help moderators. 🙂
            Each participates to their strength – tech strong here, mod eerz/eyes heer, voices of reezun obber heer, soothing types right here, etc. Dis wot halos diverse groups suck seeds. No. SUCCEED. *rolls eyes at myself*

        • PK has lost 2 members of her mod/admin group and not sure how many are still standing, supporting her. right now it is just me and her to try and protect CL (she with CL and me protecting her).
          Let her have a chance to get the community back on its feet.
          Let her finish tonight/tomorrow’s lol’s without crying for the next hour.
          Let compile all concerns and contemplate a game plan that we can present to everyone has a proposed guideline that we can work within.

          Let peeps have a chance to heal before we start another battle is basically what I am trying to say

      • QMJ there are dozens of voice that will never be heard tho. She has recieved emails that she hasn’t fully read to me other than expressing concern over certain situations. These active (and a few lurker) peeps would never “peep” up publically no matter how much they are hurting. To display their intimate feelings and concerns in an open forum would be a violation of their trust (they would recognize their words). others have said that if you must discuss this to keep we could, but again they would prefer not to have their own fears and concerns be dismissed by their friends *sigh

  8. Before the other night’s crisis, I’d been mostly unaware of any conflict… but I’d also had the habit of skipping slabs of a thread that was getting too topically annoying for my mood, or otherwise gave me a “Life’s too short to read this guff” feeling; I don’t recall ever being offended as such. But that may well be due to moderators’ interceding before things did get offensive. I think it is wise, as part of the “play nice” rule, to discourage talking about current politics and specific current religions… though I recognize that a great many topics impinge on religions and political parties these days (everything from lifestyle choices to the weather) and one can’t sterilize any conversation completely. If we can start from the assumption that comments are not intended to hurt our friends, maybe we can shrug off a few questionable statements… I’m just glad I’m not the one who must decide when things are out of hand…

  9. Ohai owr cweenmj!
    Oh noe noe noe, i nawt ment sumbuddeh was deliberately unkind to me ebbur. Moastleh ebbeh wunz bean the sooperest nice. I just named “i” and “me as the perceiver of corrective direction for convenience in typing. on dis stoopeh foan, grrr $@!#^$.
    *smuuvs harez…ahem*
    I mean i’ve come across incidents that occured where conversation mebbeh escalated quickly where it might not have on another day when the moon wasn’t full, or the tides high, or my ancestral homeland obliterated, or twisted minds are mesding with countless innocent broke people unnecessarily.

    One or more cheezehs could be having a lower-energy/happeh day, then kablooey!! –>bad harmonic convergeance, man! But the unusual misunderstanding is not intended, it just happened. But we really can get through it. Even our MIA contributed to our safety in CL in one way or many others. Dey ebbink inspired me to be more participative. *blush* (I’m shy, but i like people and get tongue-tied often.)

    I’m gonna goe play an Al Green record in mai hed… Let’s Stay Togeffur…

    • honestly the last explosion was weird.

      PK going to thump me, but perhaps this might put into a better view. A few people had a uncomfy with “Hitler” comments. They have mentioned this in past also, it was not a first event. PK simply:
      “*clears throat gently*
      *points to the “No Politics” sign*”

      and this resulted in an explosion that no one was expecting, but was involving persons that have challenged PK on many other times (many) and who she has given very much lee-way … no just has comments, but in other CL areas has well.

      Under most sites – I am sure QMJ feels this way – if she were to give a bump to move things along, she would hope that her admins/mods would follow her lead, or if they had an issue take it up privately and not make a scene. the whole scene played out in public (nothing was sent via email asking for clarifications). it was involving topics that have been “migrated” from before … if I was a dyed-in-the-wool conspiracy nut (adjusting tin foil hat), I would consider this a powder keg looking for a spark.

      to be honest, if people wanted a free for all that ICHC was becoming, without concerns for ones feelings and triggers, without guidelines and boundaries of some sort, PK was ready to xfer the site over to someone because she could not be an admin of a site that she KNEW was hurting others or others were afraid to visit because of topics “discussed”

      if people want a no holds barred area, there are many FB groups out there where we can talk about Miley Cyrus swinging naked, or the spoof of that video by a porn star. I have seen a lot of conversations discussing MC’s “twerking” display – pros, cons and tips *rolls_eyes. … this list can go on.

      • I was afraid to jump into what had become a very long dialog/game between two people even before Hitler was mentioned. That kind of thing is a lot of fun for the two who are playing. But in order to let others comment I wish one of them had said to the other, “Lets’ continue by email (or even texting if they’d give each other their phone #s). Then other, shyer, peeps (like me) could have made their own comments on the LOL. Just a thought for peeps who want to dialog. Maybe there ought to be a ten comment (or something) self-limit to that.
        ^–^
        >*<

        • Cookie, I’m sorry to hear you felt you could not comment for fear of interrupting You don’t ever have to worry about that. If you just type your comment and hit the orange ‘submit comment’ button your comment will land at the bottom of the existing comments. And other folks comments will get added after yours.

          Only if you hit ‘reply’ on someone else’s comment will your remark get attached to a running conversation. .And even then I don’t believe any one thinks of it as interrupting. Just another cheezpeep joining the conversation. We do sometimes have very long conversations, pun runs, alphabet lists and what not, no one is excluded from jumping in.

          I hope you will comment often {{{{{Cookie}}}}}

  10. Ai goez tu Cheezland for funneh.
    Tu reed it and mayk it adn add tu it.
    Tu mayk funneh nawt only fur meh but ebrywun hoo joynz in.

    Dat nawt eezy tu duz, ai kno.

    Derz tu fingz ai nawt goez tu Cheezland for.
    Raunchy. Socio-political commentary.

    Ai awlso nawt lykes der opposit egstreemz.
    Bland. Detached frum reality.

    Aifinks we needs tu fynd ballins.
    Mebbe ai a centrist. But tu meh…

    Innuendo sparks imagination while avoiding crudity.
    Raunchy is crude trying to be funny, and failing.

    As for reacting tu whirrld ebents or publik pplz?
    Meh, nawt need speshul treemint.

    Maykin fun ob sumwun or der naym is nawt funneh.
    Webber its a public/politiclol persun, or a cheezpeep.
    Taykin sydez, for or agenst, sumwun or sumfing?
    Ai nawt cayrz tu knoing ur opinyunz on dat.

    Dats nawt wut ai goez to Cheezland for.
    Wen ai can has lotsa funs, ai goez der mor offin.
    Wen ai krinjez mor den ai laffs, not so muchly.

  11. No no no no no no! That was my first reaction when I started to read this. Then I felt a need to respond. (I never could keep my mouth shut.) Here are my thoughts, but first a hug for [hug]prysma[hug]
    Racy sexy humor – It can be fun as long as it doesn’t become coarse or graphic – or drag on too long. Sometimes I want to say “get a room” when I think people have spent too much time on it. Instead, I focus on other threads and let the people involved have their fun, knowing that they will run out of material and move on to something else. Or I leave Cheezland for a bit and check back later.
    Politics – I have no problem with poking fun at politics and politicians in general, but it makes me uncomfortable when jibes are aimed at specific people or specific political parties. On the flip side, it also makes me uncomfortable when peeps crow about their candidate winning an election. I will not tell you which party I support, and I would rather not know which party you support. As for TTI’s Royal Family, I would like to know how our British peeps feel. I never thought of them as politicians.
    Religion – Same as with politics. I will not tell you my religious beliefs, and I do not want to know yours. As for the “priest, nun and rabbi. . .” type joke, I honestly don’t have a problem with it as long as it is not crude or mean-spirited. I see no problem with acknowledging important religious dates as long as it doesn’t morph into the cyber equivalent of a tent revival. I have no problem when peeps say “I will pray for you,” as long as it doesn’t morph into proselytizing.
    Current affairs – I see nothing wrong with acknowledging when terrible things happen in the world. I think it’s okay for us to all hold hands and send out healing beams. But then we move on. There are plenty of forums for people who want to have in-depth discussions. Many of us come to Cheezland to escape the mind-numbing succession of horrors in the real world. Visiting Cheezland and getting caught up in word play and gentle teasing is a wonderful breath of fresh air. In Cheezland, we celebrate the good and the beauty in the world and in other people. It provides a balance.
    People in the news/celebrities, etc. – This is a tough one. Some people are in the news because they crave attention and do outrageous things to get it, others because they are really good at what they do, others because they are trying to make the world a better place, others because they want world domination (and we all know that world domination is reserved for teh kitteh oberlords.) Where do you draw the line here? A passing reference to someone in the news might be okay, but it’s too easy to drag the conversation into something uncomfortable for lots of peeps.
    I will miss everyone who has left, but I miss SirNativeCa66 the most of all. He was always kind to me, and I looked forward to seeing what his incredibly creative mind would come up with next. 😦 [hug]SirNC[hug]

      • Adn SNC66 adn EM always made sure ai wuzn’t leff owt ob teh conbersation, adn dat ai felt welcome. Ai appreciated dat berry, berry mutch.

    • just my thoughts on your thoughts … (sorry CatBurg, stealing your formatting, wayy too lazy tonight *lol)

      Politics – some cheesepeeps forget that CL is universal. much of the politics that is “headline news” is has interesting to some has info on their mayors or such might be too you. In my forest, there has been way too much of Rob Ford (Toronto’s crack smoking mayor) on the news, I really have no desire to see it in CL, or to share his exploits there. Same goes with ObamaCare. Other very volitile news articles, such has Pres. Putin & Russia’s anti-lgbt laws effects me very deeply and personally. I go to cheezland so I can try to forget the images of innoscent youths being raped, beaten severely or killed by mobs egged on by their leaders. I am very much an activist and being trans* (a minority within the lgbt umbrella), I am very protective of my brothers and sisters, but often need a break where I can imagine it isn’t happening.

      Religion – CL has a few “religious” figures – Ceiling Cat, Basement Cat, and others (grey, orange, etc). They don’t represent specific beliefs. I like that. I am Pagan, I know peeps who are very Christian and others that are atheist. When we are joking on CL we are all equal. Your religion didn;t just attack my lifestyle, my relationship with Steph isn’t against your books, because when we click “go” after typing http://cheezland.org/ we leave our religions at the door. Many religions have a very long “history” with each other … but in CL we look past the colours of our robes and just see each other.

      Current affairs – has I mentioned in Politics, there is a lot of todays world that I NEED to leave behind when I go to CL to retain my sanity.

      People in the news/celebrities, etc. – Please no more wrecking ball or twerking *ARRRGGGGG

      also, just a personal thing with me is posting links to youtube or such that give no hint on what they go to … most are cute, but on sites like Reddit and others, that is just asking to be Rick’Rolled (*sorry that last part was an evil joke, don’t click)

  12. This is going to be the basis of the guidelines that PK and I were discussing …

    PK:
    “On Cheezland, everyone’s free to dansdansdans their own way – waltz or conga, ballet or belly, chicken dance or chair dance, or just lurk quietly in the shadows and enjoy the show. But when your dance starts to intrude on the dance space of others, even if you don’t notice that they’re edging away or that you’re bumping into them, then that freedom comes up against limits – and it’s the admin’s job to point it out politely where possible, act more directly if it looks like there’s reason to expect someone to be hurt.”

  13. There’s no way that the rules of CL can be totally quantified or qualified. As for “by cheezepeeps for cheezpeeps I’ve always thought that meant the LOL’s. The Cheezpeeps make the LOL’s for the amusement of their fellow/sister Cheezpeeps, not that CL is “governed” by all the Cheezies. There will always be differences of opinion about what is ok and what goes just a little bit too far. That’s why internet sites have moderators/admins. From what I can tell opinions are divided on whether what was happening in the thread was over the line or not over the line. The site admin spoke up pretty gently that it would be a good idea to take the thread in a different direction and the people taking the thread in that direction disagreed, demanded instant total analysis of “the rules” and when they didn’t like the answer they got announced they were leaving and never coming back.

    I know prysma fairly well and I believe that she absolutely does her best to make CL a safe place for everyone. In acting to ask someone to change the subject she was doing her best to keep that promise she had made over and over to everyone who goes there. She wasn’t harsh about it. She was doing her job the best way she knows how to do it. No one can ask anyone for more than that.

    I’m sorry that people felt the need to leave over it. I wish they hadn’t. I’m not expressing myself well cuz I’m in the tail end of a migraine/migraine hangover.

    I think we all just need to cut prysma some slack, remember just who made the site and who has busted her ass to make it as safe as possible for us all.

    Ai lubz yuu guys wiffa feerce!

  14. Dis juss mai too sents fur wut it wurff. Ai can has empafee fur prysma’s pozishun. Sheez betwing a rok anna hard plais. Hur trying tu bi a gud hostiss ov a saef plais fur cheezpeeps tu frollik adn has ufns. Hur ams trying tu du it ryte. Nawt tu having peeps offendid adn hurt ADN letting teh peeps has der ufns. ADN hur trine tu duing dis in REEL TYME. Iz nawt fayr tu eggspekt hur tu duing it purrfikklee alla tyme. Iz juss nawt pawsiblol. Hur am hyoomin juss liek awl ov we.

    Taht sed, ai wunders if wut maed dis resint toomulch juss too much fur manee peeps wuz hao it playinged owt so publiklee. Ai wunders if it am pawsiblol tu haz an innocuous adn gentlol butt cleerly undurstood direkshun tu redirekt comminters wen fings git intu murky areaz oar sensitiv topiks. Sumfing liek “caek in teh brakeroom” fur nawt feeding teh trolls. My fawt in suggestifying dis iz taht den anee reqwest fur clarifikayshun cud bi dun in pryvate soh peeps nawt feline cawled owt oar embare assed publikly adn maibee dis wud keeping clams sumhao.

    Teh onlee uzzer fing taht ai myte add ryte nao haz tu du wiff respekt. Wii needing tu ermembur taht in oardur tu playing nice wii haztu respekting echudders adn in ordur tu respekting echudders wii haztu bi myndfol taht cheezpeeps com in awl diffrint sizes adn shaypes adn ages adn cullers adn gendurs adn nashunaliteez adn raciz adn politikol leenings adn beleefs adn shoo siziz adn elebentee bazillyun diffrint dimenshuns. Adn wen wii plai in prysma’s sandbox tugezzer adn sumwun startings tu frow sand adn prysma sez “cut taht owt” wii needing tu respektify hur. Hur sez taht kaws shii cares abowt AWL ov we.

    Dis wut ai beleef. Iz prolly nawt purrfikt adn ai retain mai ryte tu chaenging mai mynd, butt ryte nao dis wut ai beleef.

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{cheezpeeps}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    • so very true … the only reason why we are having this forum is because it was presented in such a public and un-personal circumstance. If the conversation was taken to and resolved via email, which is usually the easiest, then the “guidelines” would not be being called into question. It was all very dramatic, and the angst and anguish about what would happen reminded me of a soap opera … but since it is real life, not a TV show, it had many actual victims, and many people got hurt, and continue to do so

  15. Ohai your highness. Thanks for trying. The hyperbole (and other H words) around here is just too thick for me to even begin to try to formulate a rationale contribution to the civil discourse that some Cryerpeeps are trying to engage in. So, I would just like to say that my only regret is that I unintentionally made Upfi and HCR uncomfortable. To each of them I apologize because they both hold a special place in my heart for different reasons, but that is purely a personal thing between me and them, and I wish that I had been given the opportunity to make it up to them privately instead of it this being tried in the public forum (not your fault by the way). On that note, I believe I’ve said this before, but you are free to give my email address to anyone that asks for it. No restrictions.

    • Fanksyew for stopping by, SNC66. Ai hadn’t gotten a chants tu fank yew for awl yew haz been tu teh community adn tu mii personally (althoh yew dint kno it). My hope is dat yew nawt gonna b a stranger,
      {{{{{{SNC66}}}}}}

    • {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SirNC}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
      I miss u so muchly. 😥 Thanks fur stopping bai.

    • It’s ok, SirNativeCa66. The joke did not hurt me at all. I understood it as a joke and the fact that I always have the association with WW2 in my head is nothing you or anybody else could have known or (in my mind) needs to consider all the time. The moment people make jokes like “When Hitler killed the abc peeps, he was only practicing. Now let’s continue the good works and kill off the efg peeps.” is when I really get worried. I hate to say it but there are Germans who think this way. Hitler to them was a good man. But I digress. I wasn’t hurt by what you and ElsaMama were saying, although I wouldn’t have wanted to join it because of me being the German that I am (teh specific Upfi weighed down by historic guilt and shame).

      • And I thank you for all your contributions to cheezland in the shape of LOLs, jokes, puns, dubblol identities, our very own special smilies. I very much appreciate it and I hope to see you around.

      • Deer upfi! Plz tu nawt b weighed down bai historical guilt and shame. I wud b a berry shallow person indeed if I held any and awl Germans responsible fur deh horrorz dat Hitler inflicted on others. Deh only person responsible fur Hitler’s actionz am Hitler. Hii am ded and gone. U shud b proud to b a German. Dey am a fine people hoo have given deh whirrld many great fingz — like Gutenburg’z moveablol type — where wud wii b wifout deh printed word??? And Bach and Beethoven; John Bausch (contact lenses), Ferdinand Porsche (carz) … etc.
        {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{upfi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

        • {{{{{{{Upi}}}}}}} Thank you very much, sweet sweet Upfi. I won’t explain my take on it here, but I agree with the cween very much {{{{{cweenmj}}}}}. Yeah, I know I wasn’t borned it or am living the life, but If you’re curious at all about my experience with being German, then please let her highness send you my emeow address.

  16. Why are we doing this to PK and Cheezland?

    PK is spending lots of time and energy to save our playground – and you turn on her for gently pointing out that the boundries exist?

    PK get lots of reaction we don’t see, so when she gently puts her foot down, she does it for a reason, so why turn on her?
    I can’t see any of you rushing forward to the job PK and Jackie have done for us these past 18 months (or so)?

    Now – to those threatening to leave us, why? this isn’t a satire comical page? We don’t deal in heavy political or religious humour – you all knew that when you signed up to play. You all know the play nice-rule, you all know that we’re from all over the world, with different sensibilities and that unexpected reactions can occur… why be so miffed when someone points it out? PK isn’t sensoring anyone, she’s making sure that we all continue to enjoy our friendly site!

    • {{{{{nenne}}}}} I haz much respect fur Prysma and awl dat shii duz fur Cheezland.

      I haz sed before and I will say it agin, it am Prysma’z rite and responsibility to administer deh site az shii seez fit. And it am ower responsibility to abide bai hur rules. Since peeps haz left bekuz uf nawt knowing where deh lines am drawn, I was simply asking for a discussion uv where doze linez shud b. I do nawt finso dat am unreasonablol.

      Az to why peepz left, sum left bekuz dey wuz told bai Prysma, ‘if u nawt likes deh way I run deh site, u kin leeve.’

    • What Nennepus said. All of it.

      Plus – I am pleased that someone made a stand and if the two peeps chose to leave, they….erm…. CHOSE to leave! Nobody told them to go.
      There have been – in ICHC for years and more recently in Cheezland – a couple of peeps who seem to delight in stirring the pot. A bit like someone who’s had a couple too many drinks and can’t stop their inappropriate comments that they know – oh yes they do – will offend or upset some in the group. This is largely why they do it!!

      If peeps want controversy, politics and personal jibes, perhaps they will be happier back at ICHC or somewhere else.

  17. My comments are only this. Nothing is being done to PK. People are trying to some guidelines for what can be discussed beyond “Play nice” and “you can do what you want until I say you can’t.” I agree that one does not simply tell your host “I hate your cheese dip…” but that was done here. What happened here was that the host picked up my donation to the pot luck and said “No, this won’t do – take it away.” When asked why the dish could not be served I was told – “because I know some people here might not like it – now get rid of it.”
    It was previously attempted to get guidelines “behind the scenes” but the response was that PK is the boss, Cheezland is not a democracy and when she says stop, then it has to stop. She objected to being questioned in anyway, called us unruly children and threatened then to just quit and let Cheezland die. Attempts were made to live within those parameters.
    When it happened again, it was again felt that some type of further guidelines would be helpful. The request was made publically. When it was clear that there would be no guidelines, the decision was made not to participate. That was as much my decision to make as it is PK’s to not provide guidelines. I chose to post that decision. All that PK needed to do was say “OK EM.” and move on. The subsequent drama regarding the future of Cheezland was all PK’s doing and was nothing more than an attempt to get people to validate her decision. However, that validation was requested under the threat that if it was not received there would be no more Cheezland.
    For me, the most upsetting thing is not that I will no longer be posting on Cheezland. That is most certainly not the most upsetting thing for anyone else. The most upsetting thing was the ensuing drama surrounding PK’s threats to eliminate Cheezland because she was questioned. It was upsetting to see people groveling and begging PK to please keep the site up to “give them another chance, please.” None of those people had done anything. The message however was clear – do not question my decisions or I will take my ball and go home. If I say the ball was out of bounds it is out of bounds – period.
    The same is happening here – the message is clear. The site is completely and totally under the control of PK and Jackie. They will do as they choose based on what they think and if they are questioned chaos and drama will ensue. And perhaps, with this clarity, Cween has accomplished her purpose.

    • Melodramatic comes to mind.
      From the outside looking in ‘that day’, this description bears little resemblance to what happened.
      Two people chose to leave. That’s their choice.

    • I unnerstands dat yu hasa sad, but at the enduv the day it’s her site and herrools.

      To tayk a metafor a littlol too far, she taked yor dish an putted it over away frum the gluten-free wuns. You sed it shud be up front. At the enduv the day, yoo disagreed on her living room an she sed “I sawree you has a sad, but dis is my howse an I invuted yoo. I keeps fings dis way for a reezun. ”

      She dusn’t owe us ennyfing. We may feel its owr playhowse, but its in her yard so she has to play mamamacat sumtimes. Dats going to make sum peeps mad. Dat’s life.

    • With three shows that weekend and recovering from a cold, I was behind with the LOLs. When I finally checked Cheezland and looked at the current lol, I saw a reference to an issue on a previous LOL. Without reading what it was about, I went to that LOL and started at the top. For quite a while I scrolled through all the fun stuff, then the sexy stuff, and was thinking, what’s the problem? Nothing wrong here.

      When I got to the trouble spot, I knew it immediately. No question.

      On a LOL with about ninety comments, I had no problem finding the issue on my first pass through it. And as I continued to scroll, I cringed even more. There’s no way that stuff could have been considered okay after even a moment’s thought.

      At least, that’s my opinion. Is the argument that people of a spontaneous nature should be able to post whatever pops into their head without having to think about it at all?

      I think its best to think a little, to consider others before posting something. Because being thoughtless and inconsiderate are not, in my book, positive traits we should encourage and embrace.

      Yes, be spontaneous. Be free. Be silly. But before you hit Submit, take a second to think, and to consider. With something so obvious, it shouldn’t be hard.

  18. Mai hart is borked abawt teh leeving uf fore uf mai fabrite peeps. If yu habe contakt wif ane, wud yu send mai lub an begging too retern?

  19. ? I must confess,I think “The Three Stooges” are not funny.
    If someone is allergic to a dish brought to the buffet,a word of warning might be appreciated.
    I suggest everyone go to your respictive corners and practice deep breathing. Stop taking everything said as personal. Stop fuming and racing in circles waving your flaming sword of justice. Sit. Stay.

    • [ohai] peg. i think you are wise. i agree. everybody slow down.

      remember that love and respect are gifts we give and receive from one another.

      i love you all. please do as peg requested. Sit. Stay.

    • Purrsonally, aifink politikal discusshuns amma PITA. Mai muvver startid onnus wen wi wer kidlets adn kontinyood into her oald age wiff politikol rantings. Mayd mi want tu run in teh odder direkshum wenebber somfing pollitiklol is diskussd. Ai habs a frend adn a unklol hoo sendings mi joakes. Ai nawtreeds teh pollitiklol ones. These guis am on teh frinjj pollitkolly but ai lubs dem ennyway. Wunst ai was haffway fru a joak afoar ai reelizd wat teh ponchline was gonna be. It was ufnny and ai laffed but tehn feltid gilty foar finding it ufnny. 🙄

      Aifinkso being PC am getting way tu hard-too manny inbisiblol lynes, adn is stoopy. Haoebber, wun must noe wuns oddience afore opining wuns mouf. We awl maek misstaeks (ai haz maed sum doozies), butt(!) aihoapso nun ob us wud bi dee libratly hertfull to ennyone.

      Wat ai trine to say? Nawt eben shure. Erminds mi ob mai kittehs. They rassel adn rassel adn its awl gud. Den suddenlee wun gits wapped a littol tu hard adn it awl gose sideways fur a minnit. Neggst fing yoo noes tehy am washing eech odders eers agin

      PeeEss. Peg, we haz 3 boi kittehs dat wi refers tu as teh three stooges. Ai ashoor yoo taht they am verry ufnny! 🙂

      • I must admit I dislike polyticks .
        I’m having problems here,Lucycat is sneezing blood & Mitz fulfilled her dream and got ran over by my powerchair. It wasn’t as much fun as she thought it would be. I don’t know how badly she is hurt.
        Now. I expect everyone to STAY in your corners. BREATHE and start thinking. Do this all day — if you ain’t got something helpful (and nice) to say,don’t say or do anything.

          • I coxed Mitz out with a treat — she is walking ok,but there is some hair on her tail that is sticking out.. must have gotten it… However,she is carrying it up .
            Lucy isn’t sneezing as much,but now her ears itch.. She also ate her treat.

          • No,no scratch.. She had a sneezing fit last night that went on for about 30 minuts! I think she ruptured a small blood vessel (cannot spell).. There is no blood and she’s not sneezing now,so I hope this is the end of it.. Mitz I don’t know what do do about,her problem seems to be mental.

  20. As usual I seem to be a day late and a dollar short when something happens. Maybe too late for my comment to matter but here goes anyway.

    Prysma, sweetie, I’m sorry if you feel blindsided or betrayed by this discussion. I have said to you many times (as have many others) how much I appreciate all your work to run the site. I have always meant that sincerely, with all my heart. I know it is a huge expenditure of your time and effort and not an easy task.

    I know you are very upset by the recent events but you must realize that many of us are as well. I feel heartsick at the loss of our friends and I get tears in my eyes when I see the awesome emoticons that SNC worked so hard to make for us. I really do think we should be able to discuss this without feeling like betrayers or backstabbers. I do not believe that is anyone’s intent.

    As folks have said…it is your site and you make the rules. You draw the lines. I don’t have a problem with that at all. But the site is very heavily user-dependent, not only for visiting and commenting but for making lols to use.

    I speak for no one but myself here. I do feel the lines are getting a bit blurred and need more clarity. I know you said you are working toward that end, that is good. But are we never to mention past historical or current events for fear of possibly maybe offending someone? Things we all know exist/happened, no matter how much we wish they hadn’t? Obviously no one wants a tirade, debate or rant, on any subject. But a passing mention of something everyone knows about….I’m hard pressed to see that as offensive. Unfortunately the world is not all rainbows and unicorns. I wish it was, that would be awesome. Lets face it, even our cry of ‘Oh, the huge manatee’ is a riff on a comment made during a very tragic event in history.

    I had not realized you were receiving emails about offensive comments but I wonder…are they saying specifically ‘I am personally offended by that comment’ or is it more along the lines of ‘this comment was made and if so and so happens to see it there is a chance they MIGHT get offended’. There’s a big difference, to my mind.

    I don’t believe any of us deliberately sets out to offend others. If I made a comment that hurt someone it would be completely unintentional and I would hope they would feel they could say something about it to me. If not, then yes, I would want Prysma to let me know. But a comment that a third party thought might offend someone else even if no one else complained about it? Not so much.

    I hope I have not stirred up anger again with these comments. That was not my intent. Prysma…I love you and appreciate you. Cheezfriends, I love all of you and I hope we can continue to have fun together. To those who have decided not to participate in the site anymore, I will miss you like crazy but I understand and respect your decision.

  21. I don’t understand why this is necessary. unreal. not been a part of this site for a while and I am completely surprised and amazed. Gosh, I did not read what was said but I bet I have said worse, fired from my job. People for pete’s sake stop with the omg my feelings are hurt, get over it, put your big girl panties on and deal with life. Life sucks sometimes.

  22. Don’t know about anyone else,but I don’t have enough friends in RL or on the computer to lose any.
    And y’all are still on sit. Stay. THINK.

  23. As usual I’m late to comment. I thought long and hard about commenting or not, so I went out and did some yard-border cleanup from the winter mess. While there I agonized still on commenting. I’m not good sometimes on comments and often stick my foot in my mouth, close mouth, insert other foot. But I do try very hard to engage my thinking brain before engaging mouth (or in this case – typing fingers).

    Let’s all remember WHY and WHEN this site was “born”. DOP had become a not so nice place to go and cheezpeeps were abandoning it like rats on a sinking ship. Over a period of several nights and days one peep came up with an idea of creating a place SIMILAR, but NOT exactly, like DOP in hopes that the previously loyal players would have a place to continue LOLs, pun runs, and many other activities we had enjoyed for so long. PK was that peep and she had doubts about whether this would work. Finally when the thought was “put out there” so many cheezpeeps were so excited and so many helped in so many ways. Sure, there were bumps in the road, and there will still be. I would bet that PK took many of the “rules” from DOP and incorporated them into CheezLand. PK created it, no one else took on that “burden”, although many volunteered to help where they could – me included.

    Now there’s been a kerfuffle which seems unresolvable. I don’t think it is. Let’s STOP AND THIMK (yes, I spelled it wrong on purpose). We’re all adults and we should act like adults – not like a 2-year old with a temper tantrum. If anyone has CONSTRUCTIVE thoughts on improving “the rules”, maybe send them them to PK’s email. I don’t think the LOLs on CheezLand are the appropriate place to have that kind of discussion. As an “owner/administrator” of this web site, PK has the right to “hear” them and borrow any part of any workable solution she chooses. This is called COMPROMISE – not “my way or the highway”. We were all born with free will. We choose whether or not to participate in anything. But when we do participate, we have to play by the rules no matter how nebulous you think they may be – whether it be work place, with friends or family, or on any web forum.

    I believe all the cheezpeeps are loving and kind. Sometimes we just get discombobulated, wake up on the wrong side of the bed, get our knickers in a twist, and go off on tangents. Eventually we all come down to earth.

    Like Peg 4×4 says: y’all are still on sit. Stay. THINK.

    So now that I’m made the comments, I’ll crawl back in my usual lurking place. In the words of my most favorite newsman, Edward R. Morrow: “Good night and good luck”.

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