From Kimkiwi for cweenmj.

The Nightwatchman – for Cween MJ

by KimKiwi on Monday, January 10, 2011 at 6:50am.

Night has come to Cheezland.  The full moon hangs silvery in the sky and bathes the town in soft moonlight.  The Nightwatchman makes his way around the town, checking that all is well.  He notices that every window has a black ribbon across it, which means that someone very special must be arriving.  The Nightwatchman frowns slightly, as he doesn’t know who it could be.

He makes his way slowly up JCH4K Boulevard, wondering why everything is so quiet.  He  sits on the edge of the JCH4K Fountain, still puzzled.  He realises he has not seen Winky, his faithful companion, all day.

As the Nightwatchman sits wondering what it going on, he notices that Winky is sitting on the pavement on one side of JCH4K Boulevard.  Winky is sitting up, holding a bouquet of brightly coloured flowers.  Slowly, all the heart kittehs of Cheezland appear and form a line down the pavement.  Each of them is also holding a bouquet, picked freshly from the Princess Mu Meadow.  Some have Forget-Me-Nots, some have daises, some have roses, some have lillies.  The kittehs stand silently with their heads bowed.

On the other pavement, all the other heart animals of Cheezland appear and form a line.  There are goggies and bunnehs and guinea pigs and turtlols and hamsters and… well, every animal that has crossed the Rainbow Bridge and found a loving home here with the Nightwatchmen.  They are all holding flowers and wait quietly.

Suddenly, at the far end of JCH4K Boulevard, a young man appears.  It is Elsa_Momma’s brave and much-loved Matt, looking happy and healthy.  Matt gives the order “Welcoming Parade, please fall in.”

A white horse appears behing Matt.  The horse has gold threads plaited into its mane.  It is being ridden by Mildred Ast.  Behind Mildred come all the heart horses of Cheezland, slowly walking up the Boulevard.  They all have gold threads in their manes too.

As the Nightwatchman looks in amazement at the procession of horses, he becomes aware of a group of dancing kittehs, lead by Lyanthya.  The kittehs dance in formation, stopping every so often to shake their things, as they have learned to do.  The procession reaches the fountain, and turns to look back down the Boulevard.

The Nightwatchman sees what appears to be mist rolling up the Boulevard.  He thinks it’s unusual for mist to be seen in Cheezland.  But then he notices that the mist is made up of all the loving thoughts the Cheezfrends have sent out to the special arrival and family – swirling threads of red, pink and silver.

He notices a woman being carried along by the mist.  As she passes each of the heart animals, they throw their flowers to her.  She appears to be quite old, but as she gets closer the years disappear from her and when she reaches the end of the Boulevard, she looks exactly like she did when the Nightwatchman last saw her.

With tears streaming down his face, he reaches out and embraces the woman as tightly as he can.

“Welcome to Cheezland,” he says, his voice catching a little.

“It’s good to see you again, Grandma.”


this happy new yeer!

Dis b in mai inbox frum SparkysMom.  Fankeez, deer!

Dear Lord-
In memory ob last yeer and wif hope for da new yeer spredin b4 us, pls spred your snuggie of lub owt to awl da cheezpeeps, der famblees an der furry four legged fwends for 2011, still 2 cum.

Hold us in yur hart as we hold yu in owrs. Help us to see yur byootimus whirld ob lub u spred owt awl arownd us.

Pls heel owr harts an let us rise above the loses and herts we suffered this yr.  Let us stand in the warmth and wonder ob yur love. Let awl da cheezpeeps open der harts to help eech uvvur get thru the hard bits ob time dat b comin and reach out our lubin arms in yur name to da famblees an aminuls dat b hurtin dis yeer.

Pls help us to use our big brains n big harts yu gibed us to help us get thru whateber da yr holds in store for us, understandin dat da hurt b de uvver side ob da joy dat dis life bwings us, an dat bn hoomins meens habin hurt n joy. Gib us the inspiration to help each uvvur get frew da hurtin times, ifn dey b comin,  an for awl peeps woo b sufferin rite now from pain n sickness for demsebles or der lubd ones,  help dem to com frew to feelin good, n raysen der faces into da sunshine ob yur lub.
We are so lucky to hab been gibben a special plaice in our harts for de aminuls you put here for us to lub n care for, and share der funni, and da byooty dey show us. For ebery kitty who liks our noses, n makes biscuits on owr tummys, n purrs in owr arms, n bwings us da mousies (eben da ded ones !), n chases da fevvurs, n da milk bottle rings which b hidin unner da frigerators awl ober da whirld, n da 2am chasin awl rownd da howse an up n down da stairesses n ober da counter n unner da bed an frew da koffee table n arown da ficus,
we closes owr eyes n says fank you, lord.
An finaly, we  fank you for 2 beri spechul peeps who b werkin hard to make cheezland the funni lubin plaice we awl comes to for laffin, n jokin, n punnin, n hedbonks, n heddesk, n noseboops  n faispaws,  for Ben n Cweenmj,  may der 2011 b da bestest eber.

luv to awl from Sparkysmom (AKA Melody), Pinky an da Brain, Muffin, Blacky, an Matt

Ode to a Christmas Tree

Look at dis awsum pome dat landinged in mai mailbox frum Rae!!  I haz added a pixor from TrollingTomCat.

Ohai, cween mj!  Heer iz a pome dat mai neffew cat (mai sister Carol’s cat, Major Tom) rote.  Carol haz gibben permishun for it tew be publishd in teh Cryer, if yew seez fit, for awl teh cheezpeeps tew enjoi.  Ai hoep yew lieks it!


by Major Tom

So you have once more tested me,
You human who put up a tree.
You’ll never learn, your head’s too small,
I am the King, I own it all.
Its baubles I will break, and then
I’ll eye the skirt for more mayhem.
You must allow I am a critter
And have no use for box of litter.
The house is mine, so sayeth I,
You only cheer me when you sigh.
Tree, or food, or bed, or mouse,
It’s mine when it is in this house.
I am a cat, you lose the fight,
So Merry Christmas and good night!

The 20Elebenty Cheezland Calendar Is Here!

*LCB runs in with scraps of paper stuck all over her and glue in her hair*

O hai guise! I am tickled pink to announce that the 20Elebenty Cheezland Calendar* is ready! Cost is $18.99 (USD) plus shipping. Four dollars of that goes to an animal charity TBA.

There were over 200 photos submitted. I tried to use at least one of every pet and hope I didn’t leave anybody out. (If you sent elebenty pics of one pet, chances are that only one of them got used.) Pics are grouped in categories, like “BCs, tuxies and grays, o my!”, “Orange but not poisin”, “Heart pets”, “non-kittehs” and more. If you asked for a particular month, please don’t be surprised or disappointed if your pet is somewhere else. You can preview all the pages before you buy.

Oh, and because of design constraints from Cafe Press, there was no room for birthday listings or the pets’ names. I’ll try to get a guide out soon listing what pets are on what page.

In Australia, use this link

In TTI, use this link

In Very Large Canada, use this link

Cheezland Calendar: Anonymouse kittehs, plz halp!

O hai, guise! We have received elebenty-fourteen pictures for teh 20Elebenty Cheezland Calendar and are sorting through them to make the prettiest pages possible.

But some pictures donot have information on either teh kitteh’s name and/or teh name of the Cheezpeep owned by teh kitteh. Plz halp?

Go to, click on ur kitteh pic if it’s there, and put a comment wif teh required infos. If u don’t see teh pic u sent there, it means we already have the informations we need. kthxplzhurry

We hope to have everything ready for sale by December 1th.

Cheezburger Votingz

I gotted dis in mai emayoz and I finking it b relevant tu ower intrests:

Ohai, MJ –
I had sent an email to the cheezus that be asking why my votes for LOLs never
seemed to be counted on ICHC.  Here’s what I got back:

—– Forwarded Message —-
Hi Ann,

Thanks for writing in and sorry for the trouble! We are experiencing some
problems with our voting system. When a user votes, we are having a lag time of
five minutes before the vote registers. Also, if a user tries to refresh the
page, the vote will go back down to the original count. Don’t worry though-all
votes we receive are being accounted for!

Hope this helps!
Customer Service

Trubblol Loading ICHC?

dis b frum Shepsmom:

Iz anywun else habbing troubles wif teh ICHC site?

Shepmom here wif a wurried.  Ai haz found lately dat it takifies between two and four minutes to load each page of ICHC or IHAH, and it compleetly freezes my computer while loading.  Dis becuz of awl teh ads, aifinkso.  I duz nawt look at teh ads, and dis iz too slowified for mii tew be ables to spend many times on ICHC anymoar.  Awlso, tabs appear and disappear, iz harder to navi… navy… nabbiga… gets arawnd.  Ai wud be sew disappointed nawt to be able to spend times on ICHC and wuds miss yoo awl terribly, but iz just tew slowwwwwww…otter sites duz nawt do dis, sew ai duz nawt fink iz my computer…  Iz ai alone in dis?