Nite Watchman, 2008

heer b deh storeez uv deh nite watchman wif deh linkz 2 wear dey wuz originally in deh ICHC commintz in 2008.

Fur deh Nite Watchman storeez frum 2009, klikking here

Fur deh Nite Watchman storeez frum 2010, klikking heer

Fur deh Nite Wacthman storeez frum 2011, klikking heer

Fur deh Nite Watchman storeez frum 2012, Klikking heer

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the nite watchman is introduced.

Deh nite watchman walkz frew Cheezland. Him lukz up adn down JCH4K Bulleevard. Awl deh litez b owt. A full moon b shining down. Deh nite watchman cawlz owt in a gentle voyse: “Leben o’klok adn awlz well.”

Suddenlee deh silence b borked by a strainj noyse. It b sounding like a herd uv elolofentz.

It IS a herd uv elolofentz!!!

Deh elolofentz kum thundering up JCH4K Bulleevard. Deh nite watchman watchez. Deh elolofantz runz rownd deh rowndee-bowt. Sum getz losted and turns left onto JCH4K Bulleevard. Sum turnz rite and runz down JCH4K Bulleevard. Den dey awl meetz up agin and runz under deh monorail adn past deh d’Beeker Labz. Deh D’Beeker Labz barking at deh thundering elolofantz addz 2 deh noyz.

Deh thundering elolofentz attemptz a charge at deh Tybooteek. But deh charge b foiled wen deh elolofentz r tolded dat ebberyfing b free. So dey putting dere charge cardz bak in dere bak pokkitz.

Next, thingz get stawlded at deh Pi Stawl. Deh elolofentz wantz deh rownd pi. But teh sine sez: Pi r skware. Deh elolofentz not wanting a skware pi, so dey leevingz deh Pi Stawl.

Igor, hoo werked az a mahoot in deh sirkus wun summer, cumz on deh seen. He takes himz Thotti adn usingz it to control deh elolofentz. Wifin minnitz, deh unruly crowd uf elolofentz haz ben sub dude.  Igor saddulz deh lead elolofent wif a howdah adn klimez on bored. Teh elolofentz parade down JCH4K Bulleevard bak to deh rowndee-bowt. Deh elolofentz sirkul deh fownten free timez adn den dey dis apeer.

Deh nite watchman lukz at deh dreg in himz kawfee kup.  “I wunder wut deh Missuz put in mai kawfee 2nite?”

“Leben fortee-five and awlz well.”

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Nite watchman at Kafleenz Birfday

**a shrill wistul pierces the air.**
tweeee!! tweeeee!! twee!! twee!! twee!!
**a bass drum sounds.**
BOOM!! BOOM!! BOOM!!
**In a rare daylite appearance, the nite watchman kumz marching rownd the corner. He b in himz full dress uniform wif gold brayd and blowing deh wistul. On himz bak b deh big bassdrum wif deh Cheezland crest on eech side. Marching behinder him iz deh behbeh elolofent bang ging deh drum. Behind deh behbeh elolofent b deh hole heard uv elolofentz in formation, playing Sebentee Sikz Trom Bonez on dere trunkz. Awl uv deh elolofentz b wereing harnessez on dere hedz britelee paynted in a multy tude uv kulerz. Cweenmj b riding on deh biggestest elolofent in a luxuriuz howdaw wif a purpul canopee wif golden fringeez waving in deh breeze. **

**Wen deh prosseshun reechez Kafleen, hoo iz standing at deh rowndee-bowt, deh Cween dismowntz deh elolofent. Den deh nitewatchman adn deh elolofentz march away. **

Hello mai liddul dawnkee fren!!!!
**Dawnkee skurreez 2 hide behind deh stachoo uv JCH4K.**
It b OK. I not have enny wader bloonz 2day.
**Dawnkee peekz owt.**

Wen I heeringed uv yer birfday, I wuz not noeing wut 2 getting u. Sew I askinged Petunia if she had enny ideas. Her toldinged mii wut seh thot u mite liking. I hopez u due enjoying dis.

**Cween putz her finnerz 2 her mowf and wistulz. A truk drivingz up adn a hansum man getz owt. Deh truk b a portable fairyerz shop kumplete wif forje. Deh blaksmifz, dressed in tite jeenz and a plaid shirt wif deh sleevesez rolled up, litez deh fyre adn setz 2 werk wif muskulz rippling.**

I hav commishuned a 4ever set uv gold donkee shooz for u. Ebbery six weekz deh fairyer will kumming 2 u and gibbing u a pedicure adn reshooing u wif fresh, shinee gnu gold shooz.

**Deh donkee wawkzez ober 2 teh truk. Seh neerlee swoonz az deh hansum blaksmif klipz, kleenz, filez, and brushez herz liddul hoofsez. He putz wun gold shoo in deh fyre and den beetz it on deh anvil until it iz deh perfect shape for a liddul hoof. Deh gold shoo iz den nayled onto a hoof, and deh blaksmif movez on 2 deh next hoof. Wen awl 4 hoofeez are shod, deh blaksmif keerfullee polishez eech hoof so it glistenz neerlee az much az deh golden shooz. **

Happee birfday, mai deer liddul dawnkee fren. {{{{Kafleen}}}}

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Deh Nitewatchman adn Janet

*mumblez 2 sef az she wakingz up:
I had deh nicest dreemz last nite, I dreemed Janet kameded bak home.
*heerz rawkus hullabaloo in Cheezland.
*Lukz owt window adn seez a partee in full swing.
*Dere b cheering adn singing adn dancing.
*Deh nite watchman iz carrying sumwun down JCH4K Blvd on himz sholderz.
*It b Janet
It wuzn’t a dreem!!! Janetz home!!! Yay!!!!
Runz owt 2 joyn deh partee, frowing cweenfetti ebbreewear.

≡ ┼ ∑ ╕ ◙ ▫ ≥ Janetz home!!!… ₪ Ħ Эֵ Ґڣڲ fiתּ░ ♦ מּ ╜ ► □ ﭏ תּ נּ…סּ  fl ףּ שּ ﮭ ﺝ ﻼ סּ  fl ףּ שּ ﮭ ﺝ ﻼ ☼ ☼ ы Д מ җ Њ ؟ Ŧ ώ ¶ Janetz home!!! ± ﭏ תּ נּ … סּ  fl ףּ שּ ﮭ ﺝ ﻼ סּ  fl Janetz home!!! ףּ שּ ﮭ ﺝ ﻼ ☼ ☼ ¿ Ħ Эֵ Janetz home!!! Ґ ڣڲ fiתּ░ ♦ מּ ╜ ►□ ℓ Janetz home!!!▫₪ ڶڼ ằړ •ỹ ™ ﭏ ﭏ … ﭏ תּ נּ…סּ  fl ףּ שּ ﮭ ﺝ ﻼ ☼ סּ  fl ףּ שּ ﮭ ﺝ ﻼ ☼ Ħ Э ֵ Ґ Janetz home!!! ڲ fi תּ ░ Ħ Эֵ Ґڣ ڲ fiתּ ░ ♦ מּ ╜ ►□ ♦ מּ ╜ ►□

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A Dark adn Drizzlee Nite

it iz raining. a cold, drizzley mizerblol rain. it rushez down deh gutterz uf deh d’Beeker Labz adn splashingz owt into deh parking lot. Deh nitewatchman b waring himz brite yello slikker. He wawkz frew Cheezland shining himz flashlite in2 awl deh dark kornerz.

At deh d’Beeker Labz he notisses a delivvree truk bakked up tu deh loading door. Wen he approachez, he seez dat Igor iz unloading deh truk. He haz a stak uv boxez on deh 2-wheeler adn rollingz it in2 deh Lab. Deh truk pullz away, itz hedlites reflekting off deh puddlolz.

Deh nite watchman followz Igor into deh Labz, dripping water on deh balk adn white chekkerbord linoleum floor. Igor rollz deh boxez into an elevader and deh doors sliding shut behind him. Deh elevader lites blink az deh elevader goes down, down, down.

Suddenlee a skreetching sownd ekkoz frew deh Labz. Deh hairs on deh bak uv dhe nite watchmanz nek stand on end.

A crack ob litening lites up teh sky…………. revealing clearly…….

a blonde in bloo rifling frew deh desk uv d’Beeker. but since deh nite watchman b following Igor, he duzn’t seeing her.

Deh elevader haz desended tu deh deepest part of deh Labz. Wen Igor exited deh elevader, deh doorz closinged on hims rite foot, u noez deh wun wif deh gout. He screeminged in pain. Himz screemz b wut ekkod up deh elevader shaft.

Deh nite watchman b going down deh stairz, liseening to deh skreemz uv agony emanating frum deh depthz.

meenwyle deh blonde in bloo haz fownded sumfing adn b taking it owt uv d’Beekerz desk.

Deh nitewatchman reechez deh bottom level and seez Igor, himz foot still clamped in deh elevader door. He startz tu helping Igor wen he notissez dat wun uv deh boxes be slitelee opun and sumfing be crawling owt. It lukz like……..

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Nite Watchman, Part 1

Deh nite watchman wawkz down JCH4K Blvd.  he passes bai deh ty-booteek, it b awl klosed up in deh frunt, but dere b a lite on owt bak. It b deh CCC crew restawkking deh CCC.  Deh nite watchman bidz dem a gud ebening and kontinuez on himz rowndz.

Deh nite watchman stops in deh Princess Mu Medow adn sitz down on a bench.  ”heer kitty, kitty, kitty,” he kawlz.   A shape appears in deh far side uv deh medow.  It slowlee kumz ober 2 deh watchman. It b a kitteh.

He gentlee skritchez deh kitty bhind deh eerz.  Soon anuzzer adn den anuzzer kitty appearz. Wifin minitz deh nite watchman b surrownded by kittehz.  Him playz wif awl uv dem, big and littul, old and yung.  Dese b deh kittehz frum awl deh shelterz dat had 2 going  akross deh bridge 2day.  Ebbree nite deh watchman welkumz deh lost kittehz  2 deh far side uv deh bridge.  He makez shur eech wun b kumforted.  Den teh nite watchman goez home.

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Nite Watchman, Part 2

Dis b 4 JAJEH, hoo askinged hoo dhe nite watchman b, & how he gotted to deh Bridge.

Nite watchman at deh Bridge, part 2

The nite watchman wawkz frew Cheezland, shining himz lite in2 awl deh dark kornerz. Thingz b kwiyet adn peazsful, az uzel. A soft orinj adn wite kitteh skamperz owt frum bhind a bokz in an alley adn runz up 2 deh watchman. He pikkingz it up and skitchez deh kitteh bhind deh eerz.

Deh watchman thinkz bak 2 wen him wuz a boi adn had a kitteh like dis wun. Her name wuz Sandy adn her liked 2 go 2 deh nayborz barn adn hunt deh mouseez. He setz deh kitteh down adn tellingz her 2 go on bak home now. She rubbingz himz ankulz adn den hedz home.

Deh nite watchman, a hansum yung man, haz awlwayz lubbing deh kitteh-catz. Adn deh kittehz awlwayz lubbingz himz….eben deh kittehz hoo bited and scratcht adn hist at uzer peepz awlwayz lubbinged him. Weereber he wented, kittehz wud follow. If he klozinged himz bedruum door, deh kittehz wud laying down and sleeping rite owtside himz door, waiting 4 him 2 kuming owt uv himz ruum.

Deh nite watchman goez down 2 deh Princess Mu Medow. It b lukking soft in deh moonlite, wif a doe adn her fawn at deh edge by deh wudz, nomming deh sweet grasses. Deh sent uv deh hunnee sukkle on deh fence iz kereed akrost deh medow on deh breeze. He sighz az he sitz down on deh bench, adn kawlz 4 deh lost kittehz. Wun bai wun, awl deh kittehz hoo krost over deh bridge 2day materialize adn kum 2 him. He petz dem awl, gibbing tummy rubz and snorglez. Awl deh kittehz frum deh shelterz b skeered at furst, but dehy slowlee finding dehre way 2 him. Adn he kumfortz dem awl. Az he playz wif deh kitteez, he memberz himz life adn awl deh kittehz he gnu. He wunderz at deh giant sad dat mading him takez himz own life. He hopez dat wut he duz now makez up 4 leeving deh peepz hoo luvinged him bhind.

After playing wif deh kittehz, he watchez dem disappear in2 deh nite. Den deh nite watchman himsef disappearz az a falling star streekz akross deh sky.

*u kin see deh nite watchman at Eric

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Adn dis b part 3, speshul fur Janet.

Nite Watchman, Part 3

Deh nite watchman b wawkking down JCH4K Blvd. He stoppingz at deh JCH4k Fowntin in deh JCH4K Rownd-ee-Bowt. Deh wadder splashes gentlee on deh stachewz uv Janet adn her 4 kittehz.

Dere b a liddul orinj kitty-baby sitting on deh edge uv deh fowntin. Deh kitty-baby b watching deh wadder going splishee-splash. Evree now and dehn dhe kitty-baby reechingez owt wif himz liddul paw adn patz at deh wadder in deh fowntin. Wen himz liddul paw-padz touching deh wadder, him pullingz himz paw bak and lukkingz at it in wunder. Deh wadder b a mistree 2 deh kitteh-baby.

Deh nite watchman wakkz on, kunsidering awl deh thingz deh liddul kitteh-baby haz 2 lern bowt deh whirrld. He passes deh darkened Ty-booteek and d’Beeker Labs. Evreething b kwiet in Cheezland 2nite.

Deh nite watchman kuntinuez on 2 deh Princess Mu Medow. 2nite wen he kawlz 2 deh kittehz, awl deh kittehz dat haz krosst deh bridge appear az usual. But he seez sumthing elz bhind wun uv deh treez. He goez 2 deh tree and iz surprized 2 seeing a lady standing dere. She seemz unshur just wut 2 do. Deh nite watchman holdz owt himz hand 2 her.

“Kum,” he sez. “Dis b a fine plais. Dere iz no need 2 b afrayd. Mai name b Eric. Wutz urz?”

Deh lady hezzitatez a moment. Den she takingz deh nite Watchmanz hand. “I am Mildred,” she sez. “Mai dottir Janet sed she kumz tuu dis medow sumtimez. I thot I mite see her heer.”

“Oh, yes. I have seeinged her heer, b4. Letz sit on a bench fur a wyle. I think she may kum bai.”

Deh nite watchman adn Mildred sat adn playinged wif deh kittehz 4 sum time.

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Nite Watchman, Part 4

Strainj noyzez r beeing heerd, kumming frum deh Ty boo teek. It b deh Nite Watchman, rummijingz in deh bak ruum. Soon he kumz owt, staggering under deh wate uv a ginormouse bawkz. He settingz it in deh weellee barrow adn goingz bak into the Tybooteek. He kummingz owt wif a slitelee less ginormouse bawkz and puttingz it on deh furst wun. Den he wheelingz it down deh hill in deh moonlitez. Wen he reechez deh Princess Mu Medow he stopz adn sittingz down on deh Mildred Ast Mother’z Bench.

Soon he iz joyned bai Mildred hersef. “I’m glad ur heer tunite,” he sez. “Dere b sumwun speshul I wanting u tu meet. Wait heer. He’ll b heer later”

He standz up adn kawlz tu deh kittehz. Teh kittehz dat crossinged deh bridj tuday kum owt frum bhind deh treez and flowerz and bushez. He greetz eech wun wif pettingz adn tummy rubz. After karing fur awl deh kittehz, deh nite watchman kawlz owt, “Max! Max!”

A byooteeful kwarter horse appearz in deh medow and trotz over tu deh nite watchman, hoo greetz him wif a gentlol pat and tow peenut budder cupz. Max followz deh nite watchman over tu deh bench. “Mildred, meet Max.”

She standz up adn startz patting deh lubblee Max adn rubbing himz nose.

Deh nite watchman startz unpakking deh bawkzez. He takingz owt a saddlol blankit, a georgeous black saddlol wif handtooled rosez on it adn a matching bridlol.

“I’ve never dun dis bfoar,” deh nite watchman sez. ” I hope I due it rite.”

Max stands payshentlee while deh nite watchman fumblez wif awl deh takk. Mildred pointz owt ware and how tu fasten deh cinch and teh bridlol. Evenchullee, Max is saddloled adn reddee fur a ride.

“Ok, Mildred, hop on board!” deh nite watchman sez.

“Mii?? I haven’t ridden in yeerz!” she xklaymez.

“Den I think it b hi tiym u did it agin.” He givingz Mildred a boost adn she iz up in deh saddlol wif a huge smilol on her fais.

Max startz owt at a gentlol wok, which soon bkumz a trot and den a kanter az he takez Mildred akross deh medow. After a few moments, Max beginz a routine he haz dun mennee timez befor. Tu Mildred, it feelz az if deh powerful horse b dansing under her. Wen Max is dun, he returnz tu dhe nite watchman, hoo haz moar peenut budder cupz wating fur him.

Mildred slipz off Max az litelee az a fevver. “Thank u, bof,” she sez. “Dat wuz wunderful. I’m so glad u brot Max tu mii.”

“He wuz a gift frum a lubblee lady,” deh nite watchman replyd.

“Pleeze thank hur fore mii.”

“I think u just did.”

Den deh free uv dem wokked akross teh medow adn faded frum vu.

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the nite watchman at deh talent show aw dishunz

a faint rumblee bumblee sownd iz heerd kuming frum owtside deh stage door uv deh amfeetheeter. den a lowder rumblee bumblee sownd b herd owtside deh stage door. Deh dooor startz tu opun and a voyse is herd firmlee saying, “Awl rite!!!! Evreebuddee just staying wair u r!!! I b rite bakk.” Den deh nite watchman kumz frew deh door.

“um…Skewz mii!!! hoo b in charge heer??”

Ebbreewun lukkingz at him, adn az wun, dey awl point tu deh person neggzt tu dem.
.
“Oh. Well, I haz a groop dat wantingz tu aw dishun. I’ll just bringing dem in. Kan sumwun halping mii opun deh doorz on deh loading dok??”

Deh loading dok doorz b opuned adn deh nite watchman yellz, “K’mon in guize!!!”

Ebbreewun standingz bak az deh doorz fill wif huge, ginormus elolefentz adn palm treez. Deh nite watchman managez tu ranglol dhe elolefentz and treez intu deh bakstage area. Deh elolefantz b dresst in dere holiday finereez, wif deh red bowz and green harnessez. Deh palm treez awlso b dressed in red bowz.

*plz tu playing dis while kuntinuing reeding.

Deh nite watchman handingz deh conductor sum sheet muziks witch den gitz past rownd deh orchestra. Wyle deh orchestra gitz deh rite musikz tu deh rite instrumentz, dhe nite watchman sortz owt deh elolefentz and palm treez.

Wen ebbreewun b properlee posishuned, he signalz deh conduktor. Deh musik startz. Swaying tu deh music, deh palm treez dansingz tu-bai-tu across deh stage, dere frondz waving az deh treez dansingz. Deh treez haz dansed adn forminged intu an iyul. Wun at a tyme deh elolefentz dansing ontu deh stage between deh rowz uf deh palm treez witch kuntinuez swaying. Deh elolefentz dans, gracefully gliding and spinning adn raizing up on dere hinder legz and twurling arownd.

Az moar and moar elolephentz dansingz ontu deh stage, the amfitheeter beginz shakingz. Furst just deh stage shakez. Den deh floor uv deh orkestra pit iz shakingz. Deh shakingz proceed tu deh theater seets, den the balkonee startz shakingz. At furst awl deh peepz just luking at eech udderz. Den sumwun yellz, “run fur ur livez” adn deh panda moaning umz ensuez. Deh stage kolapsikatez and elolefantz and palm treez start runningz ebbreewair. Deh nite watchman tryingz tu kollektifying dem, but it b hopeless.

Deh elolefentz take tu deh streetz rampaging threw Cheezland. Teh palm treez taking up residence rownd deh JCH4K fownting. Adn deh nite watchman? He disapeeringz intu deh crowd.

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A Nite Watchman Christmas

A soft, lite, fluffy snow iz fawling in Cheezland diz Chrissmizz Eve. It b neerly midnite adn deh nite watchman b warmlee dressed in a Navey bloo wool overcoat, a long stripey skarf rownd himz nekk, adn a brite red cap on himz hed. On hiz sholder ridez hiz favrit cat, Winky; her blak body snugged up aginst his left ear so he can hearing hur soft purr.

He spotz a movement in a dark corner. Wen he shinez himz lite dhere, he seez a small girl no moar dan 4 yeerz old in pjz, wif only a pinkee robe and yellow rubber overshoez tu keeping hur warm.

“I’m Eric,” he sez az he approchingz hur, “wut’z ur name?”

She lukkingz up at him adn whisspurrz, “I’m Cassie.”

Den he askez wut she b duing owt so late.

“I wanting tu see Santa fly,” she sez, still in a very small voys. “Momma adn Daddy b sleeping so i putted on mine own bootz,” she lifted a foot and waggled it tu showing him deh boot. Then she kuntinude “adn I cameded owt deh bakk door.”

“Well, no one is supposed to seeing him fly, but I noez a speshul plaic wii kin go,” deh watchman sed kunspiritorilee. “but first I thinking wii needz tu bundlol u up a liddlol moar.”

He setz Winky down, takez off hiz coat, den himz sweater. He putz deh sweater on hur adn it hangingz down below hur kneez. “Oh, itz so soft and cuddlee,” she sez, her iiz shining.

Wif himz koat bak on, adn Winky firmlee establishinged on himz sholder wunst agin, they setting off, hand-in-hand. Tehy walking frew deh streetz and owt past deh edj uv town. Az deh snowfawl endz, teh watchman stoppingz bai a stone fence dat surrowndinged a sheep pasture.

He brushez deh snow off a rokk and sittingz down, adn Cassie klimez ontu hiz lap. He opuningz hiz koat adn she snugglolz aginst hiz chest az he clozingz deh coat rownd dem bof. Deh Winky purr b lowd enuf dat even Cassie can heering it az dey b sitting in deh dark.

Below dem deh villij iz laying kwietlee in itz valley wif deh street litez shedding a soft glow on deh fresh snow. Adn dey kan seeing deh lites frum deh Krissmiss tree in deh JCH4K Rown-dee-Bowt neggst tu deh JCH4K Fowntin. But Cassiez iiz b on deh sky.

Az she watchingz deh sky, deh klowdz thin adn dere appearz deh slaiy wif deh Sandy Klawz pullinged bai deh flying ranedeerz!!

Cassie klapz her handz ober her mouf tu keep frum krying owt wif joiz. She watchez az Sandy Klawz effertlesslee sailz akrosst deh sky. Suddenlee, deh slaiy adn deh Sandy Klawz disappearing in a splarklee, twinklee flash uv lite!! B4 Cassie oar deh Watchman kin saying moar dhan deh “Oh” uv a sharplee inhaled breath, teh Sandy Klawz slaiy b replaisinged bai duzzinz uv Sandy Klawz slaiyz. Eech wun fliez tu a howse adn landingz on deh roof. Eech Sandy popz down deh chimblee wif a sparkloling twinklol. Adn just az kwikklee returnz and hoppingz bak intu himz slaiy.

Awl deh Sandyz flyingz up intu deh sky adn meetingz wif anuzzer flash! Adn a singlol Sandy Klawz flyz off intu deh nite.

Cassie iz so egg sited she kan hardlee standing it. She slips owt of deh Watchmanz coat adn dansingz in deh road tawking nonstop. “Did u seeing dat? It wuz awsum! Dhere musta ben a towsand Sandy Klawz!! Oh, tank yew, Eric!! Dis b deh bestest Krissmiss eber!!”

The nite watchman gitz up, adn grabbingz hur handz, dansez wif Cassie, his coattailz flying owt arownd dem as he spinz adn twurlz. Deh Winky cat hangingz on wif awl hur pointy endz. Dey dansing and laffing awl deh way bak down deh hill tu Cassiez howse. Dehre, he reklamez himz sweater, den kwietlee opunz deh bak door and Cassie slipz intu hur howse wif a promise tu going strate tu bed adn not saying eneething tu ennee wun bowt wut she haz seed.

The Nite Watchman’z 2009 adven chewerz are on page 2