Nite Watchman, 2011

heer b deh storeez uv deh nite watchman wif deh linkz 2 wear dey wuz originally in deh ICHC commintz in 2011.

Fur deh Nite Watchman storeez frum 2008, klikking here

Fur deh Nite Watchman storeez frum 2009, klikking here

Fur deh Nite Watchman storeez frum 2010, klikking heer

Fur deh Nite Watchman storeez frum 2012, Klikking heer


cweenmj says:

Oh deer, oh deer!!! Dhe Nite Watchman wuz supposed tu bee heer dis morning tu leed deh prayd!!! I saw him at deh Noo Yeerz Eve party last nite. I hopez hii made it home ok.

*phone ringz*

Hello?? Eric, am dat u???
where are u??? peepz am waiting fur u tu leed deh parade!!

*deh voyse on deh fone sez:*

Luk owt!! Luk Owt!!
Pink efalumpz on parayde!!
Heer dey kum!
Hippity Hoppety
Dheyre heer and dhere
Pink Efalumpz evreewhair!!
Luk owt!! Luk Owt!!
Dheyre walking arownd deh bed
On their hed
Klippity Kloppity
Arrayed in brayed
Pink efalumpz on parayde
Wut’ll I due? Wut’ll I due?
Wut an unuzuall vue!!
I kud stand deh site uv wermz
Adn luk at mikroskopic germz
But tekkneekuller pakkydermz
Iz reely much fur mii
I am nawt deh type tu faynt
Wen fingz r odd oar fingz r kwaint
But seeing fingz u noez dat aint
Can sertinly gib u an awful frite!!!
Wut a site!!
Chase ‘em away!
Chase ‘em away!
I’m afrayd! Need ur ayd!!
Pink efalumpz on parade!!
Pink efalumpz!!
Pink Effalumpz!!!

*deh cween giglolz*

Uh-oh!! Ifinso u sillybrated a bit tu muchly last nite!!! U go bak tu sleep. Wii’ll manage wifowt u.


The Nightwatchman – for Cween MJ

by KimKiwi on Monday, January 10, 2011 at 6:50am.

Night has come to Cheezland.  The full moon hangs silvery in the sky and bathes the town in soft moonlight.  The Nightwatchman makes his way around the town, checking that all is well.  He notices that every window has a black ribbon across it, which means that someone very special must be arriving.  The Nightwatchman frowns slightly, as he doesn’t know who it could be.

He makes his way slowly up JCH4K Boulevard, wondering why everything is so quiet.  He  sits on the edge of the JCH4K Fountain, still puzzled.  He realises he has not seen Winky, his faithful companion, all day.

As the Nightwatchman sits wondering what it going on, he notices that Winky is sitting on the pavement on one side of JCH4K Boulevard.  Winky is sitting up, holding a bouquet of brightly coloured flowers.  Slowly, all the heart kittehs of Cheezland appear and form a line down the pavement.  Each of them is also holding a bouquet, picked freshly from the Princess Mu Meadow.  Some have Forget-Me-Nots, some have daises, some have roses, some have lillies.  The kittehs stand silently with their heads bowed.

On the other pavement, all the other heart animals of Cheezland appear and form a line.  There are goggies and bunnehs and guinea pigs and turtlols and hamsters and… well, every animal that has crossed the Rainbow Bridge and found a loving home here with the Nightwatchmen.  They are all holding flowers and wait quietly.

Suddenly, at the far end of JCH4K Boulevard, a young man appears.  It is Elsa_Momma’s brave and much-loved Matt, looking happy and healthy.  Matt gives the order “Welcoming Parade, please fall in.”

A white horse appears behing Matt.  The horse has gold threads plaited into its mane.  It is being ridden by Mildred Ast.  Behind Mildred come all the heart horses of Cheezland, slowly walking up the Boulevard.  They all have gold threads in their manes too.

As the Nightwatchman looks in amazement at the procession of horses, he becomes aware of a group of dancing kittehs, lead by Lyanthya.  The kittehs dance in formation, stopping every so often to shake their things, as they have learned to do.  The procession reaches the fountain, and turns to look back down the Boulevard.

The Nightwatchman sees what appears to be mist rolling up the Boulevard.  He thinks it’s unusual for mist to be seen in Cheezland.  But then he notices that the mist is made up of all the loving thoughts the Cheezfrends have sent out to the special arrival and family – swirling threads of red, pink and silver.

He notices a woman being carried along by the mist.  As she passes each of the heart animals, they throw their flowers to her.  She appears to be quite old, but as she gets closer the years disappear from her and when she reaches the end of the Boulevard, she looks exactly like she did when the Nightwatchman last saw her.

With tears streaming down his face, he reaches out and embraces the woman as tightly as he can.

“Welcome to Cheezland,” he says, his voice catching a little.

“It’s good to see you again, Grandma.”


cweenmj says:

Deh kittehz in deh Princess Mu Medow am awl egg sited!!  Dhey haz herd dat a mouse am coming!!!

Mittenz sez, “Wen I see him, I gonna show him mai butt wigglol uv doom!”

Sofy rollz on hur bak and rigglolz, den shii sez, “I will hug him and skweez him adn kawl him Jorge.”

Pooky likz wun paw adn sez, “I gonna gib him a hedbat!”

Meenwhile, deh Nite Watchman am walking thru Cheezland wif himz noo frend. It am a berry tall man dressed in deh full regalia uv deh Maus King wif deh gold cummerbund, gold-lined cape and a bej*welled crown.

If u kud heer dem, u wud fink dey had noed ee chudderz fur yrz adn yrz.  They talk uv fingz like PEBCAK adn ID~10~Tz adn donglez adn sootz, wif much smilingz and laffingz.

Behinder dem is a small procession uv charakterz:  Petunia, maus’z 21-hand tall pinto Clydesdale, Ebil Maus wif a zippo adn selter bottle at deh reddy; Sir Real on himz mitey steed Bodice Ripper; adn A YNG bearing a refreshing bevridge.

“Can I tell you a secret?” asks maus wif a chukklol. “It awlwayz gave mii a private laff — I called myself maus on ICHC, but my name in Real Life was TOM CATes.”

Deh Nite Watchman joined in deh kwiet laff.

Toogezzer, dhey walkingz intu deh medow.  Deh kittehz start tu kum running tu greet deh nitewatchman, but stop az soon az dey catch site uv himz companion.  Dey had nawt expected deh maus tu b 6 feetz tawl!!!  Deh maus king laffed and tooked off himz costumez hed.

Den he slowly bendinged down and berry gently booped Pooky on deh noze.


cweenmj says:

Deh Nite Watchman enterz riding on Petunia, maus’z 21-hand ohai pinto Clydesdayle. Deh Nite Watchman am dressed in hiz finest riding uniform wif a brite red coat wif gold braid trim and a red hat wif a white plume.

Petunia b looking like sumfing owt uv a fairytayl: Hur coat haz been groomed tu fine shine. Her mane and tayl haz deh sparklee golden thredz wove intu dem. And hur silver-studded livery am polished and gleeming in deh sun.

Shii prancez and caperz down deh parade route, soliciting oohz adn aaahz frum deh crowd. Wen dey reeching deh JCH4K fowntin in deh rown-dee-bowt Petunia executez hur finest dressage manuevurez just az maus tawt hur: Shii duz a full pass, moving sidewayz tu hur left; then a half-pass, moving diagonally forward adn tu deh rite. next, shii duz a cabriole which am an ohai upward but nawt forward leap wif awl 4 footses off dhe grownd. Adn finally, shii executez a purrfect courbette, in which shii jumpifyingz fourward sebral times on hur strong hind legs wif hur forelegs off deh grownd.

Deh Nite Watchman leapz gracefully off Petuniaz back. Hii removez hiz hat in a sweeping moshun, and both deh Nite Watchman and Petunia bow deeplee tu deh crowd.

“Farewell, maus! U wuz deh finest knight Cheezland eber had!”


Deh Nite Watchman am sitting in deh Princess Mu medow, petting an unending supply uv kittehz. Dhere b kalikoz and tuxeez. Shorthairz and long hairz. Kitteh-boiz, kitteh-gurlz. Bold kittehz, shy kittehz. Tabbeez. Rushun blooz. Midnite kittehz. Cow kittehz. White kittehz. Street smart kittehz wif skarz. Pampered kittehz wif shiney furz. Old kittehz, yung kittehz. City kittehz. Kuntry kittehz. Hii haz pettingz and snorglolz and treetz fur awl uv dem.

Hii talkz tu deh kittehz. If u lissen close, u will heering him. Dis am wut hii sez: “Kittehs, u haz such an important job. It am wunna deh mostest important jobz in deh whole whirrld. U let deh humanz learn how tu care fur sumfing dat am nawt demself. U teechez dem dat if dey luv sumfing just a liddlol bit, it will luving dem bak a whole bunch. That am sooo important!!! Peepz need tu lerning abowt lubz. Dhey need tu noez dat no matter how much lubz u give away, u will awlwayz git eben moar bak! And dhere am anuzzer eben moar important lesson u teechez peepz. Wen u diez, u teechez dem how tu greeve. Dhey haz tu noez dat, bkuz sumday, ebreewun loosez a peep dat dey lubbed. And if dey hazn’t losted a pet, dey nawt noez how to survive dat loss. So awlwayz remember dat eben tho u am ‘just a cat’ u haz dun sumfing so important dat it cannot b left tu peepz.”

“Dis yeer,” hii continuez, “deh Cheezpeepz haz losted seberal frendz — Maus, MommaGwen, adn Rhokit. But u haz tawt dem how tu live wif deh loss uv wunz dey luv. Tehy haz lerned how tu remember deh gud timez. Tu kum tu deh medow, luuk intu dhere hartz and find a bit uv peec. Adn tu looking forward tu deh time wen tehy kin b tugezzer agin.”

KimKiwi walkz intu deh meddow berry slowly and hur aiz am downcast. Deh Nite Watchman greetingz hur and takez hur arm. Dehy walkz over tu a bench and sittingz down.

“I feel so bad,” shii sez. “I feel like I haz let so menny peepz down. Dehy sendinged mii beemz uv strength and lub. But I died ennyway.” Deh teerz fawl slowly down hur cheekz.

Dhe Nite Watchman reechingz intu himz coat and handingz Kim a hankercheef. “No, u didn’t letting dem down,” hii sez. U uzinged deh beemz tu live wif dignity and grace. Wen dey held u in dhere hartz, dey felt deh courage in ur soul.”

Kim dried hur aiz. “Thank yoo. Ur werdz halp.”

Dhe Nite Watchman handed Kim a tiny kitteh. “Dis liddlol wun just got here. Hii had no human, hiz momma kitteh wuz a street kitteh. I knowz dat u miss ur furr babbeez, so dis liggle boi kin b urz.” Deh liddlol kitteh snugglolled intu Kims armz and purringed a big purr.

“Now,” deh Nite Watchman sed, “dhere am a bridge wayting fur u.” They stoodifying up and walked across deh Princess Mu Medow, frew deh flowerz, wif kittehz trotting along beside dem, to deh Rainbow Bridge.

Kim lookt at deh Bridge wif wunder in hur aiz. “Itz eben moare beyootiful dan I eber imagininged!!” The kullerz uv deh Bridge sparklolled and shone wif a brillyunt irridessance in deh sunlite.

Kim walked up tu deh sparkly Bridge remembering wut deh Watchman had sed tu hur. Filld wif pride, shii lifted hur hed up, lookt strate ahead and stept ontu deh Raynebow Bridge wif confidence. Shii lookt bak wunst, waived hur rite hand while holding deh kitteh wif hur left, and then shii crossed deh bridge wif grace and courage.

8 thoughts on “Nite Watchman, 2011

  1. Oh dang! Made me crai again! 😉

    And Maus was eben taller!! 6’2″ !! I used to tease him about being just a littlol Maus of just over 6 inches! And in his full Maus King Costume he was a full SEVEN FEET tall! Enough to scare anyone.

    How fortunate we were to know him. And he was indeed the finest knight ever to grace Cheezland. We will always have many wonderful people there – but we will NEVER see his like again. And I miss him so much. . . *sniff*
    He was always there with a hanky when I needed it. And I will always treasure the one he let me keep.

  2. june 2011:
    mulligan, louie, sumo, bonnie an zeba r standin on der back legz wisperin…… dere am a beutifilled ladi hedding this way. iz kimkiwi. *scamper, skamper runz up with quickness* ohai kimkiwi…will u b r frend?

  3. Cheezpeeps, I am just a lurker, usually just doing the Random searches and laughing at the cleverness of the denizens of Cheezland. I found Cheezstock on the bus on the way to work one day and I laughed so hard I thought they’d call the men in the white coats!
    I wandered in for a look here tonight to see some stories of the Nite Watchman and feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. Not Maus! Not Kimkiwi!
    I’m not articulate (stoopy leeky aiz) but I hope my meaning comes through – I hope it can give some comfort that your Dear Ones still give joy, make new friends and are loved even after they have gone over the bridge.

  4. I have been away for a long time and just found this post. I did not know that Maus and KimKiwi had passed over the bridge (I did not know MommaGwen, and Rhokit). I remember Maus so well, and he gave me many laffs. I am sad they are gone, and I am glad that the Nite Watchman is there to help them along. Thank you cweenmj for this beautiful, beautiful blog. Farewell, Maus and KimKiwi! See you again some day.

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