No Nomming the Rodent Bloos

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No Nomming the Rodent Bloos
by Phillipe d’Beaker and Igor

*stage goes dark except fer wun deep bloo spotlight*
Igor cums out.
black leather.
studs and spikes.
grumpy expression.

Igor tells me that he has written, and will perform, teh No Nomming the Rodent Bloos. Ai donut noe wut this will be like, but …

well ai woked up this morning
looking fer sumfing to nom

yes ai woked up this mowrning
looking fer sumfing to nom

all ai cud see wuz rodents
and tehy tolded me ai cudnnt’ have eben one.

so ai took off running
fast as ai cud fly

yes ai tookedd off runing
fast as ai cud fly

ai wuz looking fer a small plump herbivore
wun that ai cud try

ai has a hungree and
itz got me awn my knees

oh yes, ai has a hungree
and itz hasing me awn my knees

ai gotz teh no-rodents-fer-lunchtime blooz
and itz killin me by degrees

ai’m gonna try me sum tofu
and sum salad and sum sprouts

oh yes ai’m nomming me sum tofu
and ai’m chewing awn the sprouts

but teh rodents be so much more delishus and nootrishus
that they had better just watch outs

ai’z gonna jumps awn them and bite ‘em
and they .s.sa.s……..

*feedback*
*security grabs Igor*
stop it… lemme go!! ai’m nawt dun wif mai song ….

well ai woked up this morning
looking fer sumfing to nom

yes ai woked up this mowrning
looking fer sumfing to nom

all ai cud see wuz rodents
and tehy tolded me ai cudnnt’ have eben one.

so ai took off running
fast as ai cud fly

yes ai tookedd off runing
fast as ai cud fly

ai wuz looking fer a small plump herbivore
wun that ai cud try

ai has a hungree and
itz got me awn my knees

oh yes, ai has a hungree
and itz hasing me awn my knees

ai gotz teh no-rodents-fer-lunchtime blooz
and itz killin me by degrees

ai’m gonna try me sum tofu
and sum salad and sum sprouts

oh yes ai’m nomming me sum tofu
and ai’m chewing awn the sprouts

but teh rodents be so much more delishus and nootrishus
that they had better just watch outs

ai’z gonna jumps awn them and bite ‘em
and they .s.sa.s……..

*feedback*
*security grabs Igor*
stop it… lemme go!! ai’m nawt dun wif mai song ….

Sorry folks, that didn’t go so well. But for our next act …

See this poem and song at Teh No Noms Consert