Dis b deh adven chewerz uv deh Nite Watchman in 2010.
linkz tu deh uzzer Nite Watchman postingz:
Fur deh Nite Watchman storeez frum 2012, Klikking heer
Deh parking lot at d’Beaker Labz b crowded wif deh Parade entrants wayting fur tu begin. Ebbreewun b milling abowt lukking fur awl deh whirrld like a disorganized groop uv rabble. I donut fink ennefing kud pull dis rag-tag bunch into ennefing resembling a parade.
Deh YNGz b akshjulle dresst tuday. Dehy b in deh brillyunt band u knee formz dat arrivinged just 2 dayz ago. Dey b walking thru deh crowd, flirting wif deh purty gurlz on deh flotez.
Oh, luk!! Deh Nite Watchman haz appearinged on deh seen in himz bandleader uneeform: Brite red pantz wif a gold stripe down eech leg from waist tu hem adn a creamy ivory coat wif brite red cuffs, adn shinee gold trim flashing in deh moarning sun.
*Deh Nite Watchman blowingz him whistlol
*wun short, sharp blast.
*Deh parade entrants immeedjitlee fawl intu line
*and deh Nawt-Sekkund Ann Yule Cheezland Noo Yeerz
*Day Parade bginz.
Lebenty six trom bonez led deh Cheez pah raid,
Wif a hunnerd adn ten corm netz close at hand.
Dey wuz followed bai roze adn roze
Ov deh finest virtue Oh soez,
Deh creme uv ebry famuz band.
Lebenty six tom bonez kawt deh morning sun,
Wif a hunnert and ten corm netz rite behind.
Dhere were ober a fows adn reedz,
Springing up like weedz,
Dhere were hornz uv ebree shape and kind.
Dhere were copper bottum timp a knee in horse platoonz,
Fundering, fundering, awl along deh way.
Dublol bell Ufonimumz adn big bass oonz,
Eech bass oon habbing itz big fat say.
Dere were fifty mowntid cannon in deh batteree,
Fundering, fundering, lowder dan b4.
Klair in netz uv ebry size,
Adn trum petterz hoo’d imp row vize
A full oktav hai~er dan deh skore!
Lebenty six trom bonez hit deh kownter point,
Wyle a hunnert and ten corm netz blazed away.
Tu deh rythum uv Harch! Harch! Harch!
Awl deh kidz beegan tu march,
Adn dey’re marching still rite tuday!
Lebenty six trom bonez led deh Cheez Parade,
Wen deh order to march rang owt lowd adn kleer.
Starting off wif a big bang bong on a Chineez gong,
Bai a big bang bonger at deh rear.
Lebenty six trom bonez hit deh cownter point,
Wyle a hunnert and ten corm netz played deh air.
Den I modestly took mai plais az deh wun and only base,
Adn I oompahed,
… UP …
… ADN …
… DOWN …
… DEH …
It am a dark, moonless nite. Deh nite Watchman walkz down deh streetz uv Cheezland, wif himz long coat flapping gently against himz legz. Winky b riding on himz sholder, hur tiny purr barely audilol in himz eer. Awl iz kwiet and dark. A few peepz am sitting up, talking kwietlee, but deh streetz ar beeing em tee. Deh street litez cast frosty haloz ov lite heer and dhere.
Wen hii reachez deh Priness Mu Medow, awl deh kittehz am acting stranglee. Dhey am restless and a liddlol bit upset. Hii tryez tu settlol dem down, but much as hii pettingz dem, dey still seem ankshus.
Den hii heerz a strange mewing sownd. It awlmost sowndz like a kitteh, but not kwite. Hii turnz himz hed this way and that, trying tu figure owt whair it b kumming frum. Hii startz walking up deh hill and it bekumz a littlol lowder. Awl deh kittehz b trotting along wif him. Hii followez deh mewing adn realizez dat it b kumming frum deh carosel.
Wen deh Nite watchman reechez deh carosel hii seez a small bundlol uv blanketz laying on wun uv dhe swan seatz. Deh mewing b kumming frum dis bundlol. Winky hopz ontu deh seat and sniffingz it. Deh Nite Watchman pikkingz it up carefully and unrapz wun end uv deh floofy blankeez tu revealing a tiny babeh boiz fais. Deh babeh stoppz himz crying adn lukkingz up at deh Nite Watchman.
Wif leeky aiz, deh Nite Watchman snugglolz deh babeh. Hii turnz on deh carosel and az it slowly revolvez, itz normally lowd kaliope playing a soft lullaby. Hii talkz softly az hii walkz over tu wun uv deh carosel horsez and sitz in deh saddlol. Deh horse goez up and down, rownd and rownd.
“oh, littlol wun,” hii sez, “I b so sad dat u b here. U b habing many peepz dat b wanting u. I finso, dey lubbing u muchly and will missing u, eben tho dey neber gotted tu noeing u.”
Deh babeh, mezmerized by deh gentlol up and down moshun adn deh shiny litez and deh lullaby, lukkinged up at deh nite watchman adn cooed.
“U b purrfect heer,” deh Nite Watchman kuntinueinged, “but fur sum reezun, dhe world wud not b rite fur u. U am tu speshul tu libbing dere. Purhapz, u wud hav had a life uv payne. I hopez ur famlee kin finding kumfort in deh thot that u will neber noez payne, oar ebil, oar hate.”
Deh babeh wuz sleeping, tho and din’t heering ebbrefing deh nite watchman had sed. Adn so dey passed deh nite, riding deh carosel wif deh kittehz watching. Wen deh dawn kame, Deh nite watchman carryinged teh babe tu deh Raynebow Bridge. Wif a kiss on himz forehed, hii setted deh babeh on deh Raynebow. Den hii watchinged az deh babeh floatinged up adn over deh Raynebow Bridge.
It am a thunderstormy nite in Cheezland. Deh litening am flashing and deh thunder am booming. Deh rainz b fawling frum deh sky like tearz frum deh angelz.
Deh nite watchman am wearing hiz brite yellow slikker az hii walkz deh streetz in deh raynez. Hii likez deh way himz rubber boots splashingz in deh puddlolz az hii goez along. Hiz cat, Winky, nawt liking deh raynez, haz opted tu staying home tunite.
Deh nitewatchman lukz dis way and dat az hii walkingz threw Cheezland. Teh storm slowly movez off and leavez deh streetz shiny in deh glow frum deh street litez. Deh clowdz thin and deh moon shinez britely in deh sky.
At deh gate tu dhe Princess Mu Medow, deh nitewatchman meetz up wif a hansum yung man. “Hello,” deh yung man says, extending his hand. “I’m Jackson. And u must b deh Nite Watchman I haz hearinged uv.”
“Yes, I b Eric,” deh nitewatchman sez, shaking handz. “And I haz heard uv u, tu. Kum, dere am sum frendz uv urz in heer.”
Deh tu yung menz enter deh Medow and Jackson iz stampeded bai kittehz. Yung, old, big, small, awl ar ankshus tu say Ohai tu deh onlyest purrsun hoo showinged dem lubz whyle dey were alive. Deh kittehz twine rownd himz anklolz, klime hiz legz, purr in hiz earz adn gibbing him hedbonkz and cheek rubz.
Jackson dropz to deh ground adn deh teerz run down him’z fais az hii tellz deh kittehz over and over how sorry hii wuz tu sending dem tu deh Medow.
“Donut wurry,” sez deh nite watchman. “deh kittehz noez u did it wif awl deh lubz u had. Deh kittehz kud feeling deh lub in ur handz. Dey donut b angry aor sad. Dey am happy to seeing u now. Dey haz no painz here.”
Evenchully, Jackson’z tearz dry and deh tu yung men talk to eech uzzer and deh kittehz fur owerz. Az deh moarning sky beginz tu briten, Eric leadz Jackson to a speshul spot in deh medow. “Stand rite heer,” he sez.
Az deh sun kumz up, deh Raynbow Bridge appearz. “I am so glad tu haz metted u,” Eric sez. Hii givez Jackson’z sholderz a hug, then pointz over deh Bridge. “Ur home am over there now.”
Jackson walks up tu deh Raynbow; tu his amazement, insted uv reseeding, dis Raynbow duzn’t move. Hii raizez hiz foot and stepz, expecting it to go thru teh Raynbow, but it duzn’t. Deh Raynbow am az solid az a rock. Hii walkz up adn over deh Raynbow Bridge wif deh sun shining on him adn a liddlol kitteh scampering after him. Hii pauzes at deh top and scoopz up deh kitteh, givez it a liddlol kiss on itz hed, tukz it in a pokkit and continuez on hiz sojourn
Deh nite watchman am making himz ebening rowndz in Cheezland wif Winkee, deh blak cat ridifyingz on hiz shoulderz. Deh Ty booteek and deh Pi Stawll am shuttered fur deh nite. Deh waterz in deh JanetCanHaz4Kittehz fowntin tinklol and splash kwietly under deh streetlitez. Az hii approachez D’Beaker Labz, deh windowz darken and Igor comez owt and walkz wif deh watchman tu deh Princess Mu Medow.
B4 dey can even opun deh gate, a dark form separatez itself frum deh shadowz and kumz galumphing toward dem. Deh Labz lab jumpz himz frunt feet ontu Igorz chest, asking, “Whutcha got? huh? U bring mii sumfin? Wutz in ur pokkitz? Huh? u gotz sumfin in ur pokkitz fur mii??”
Without giving Igor a chantz tu respond, deh lab turnz tu deh nite watchman tu repeeting himz interrogation. But Winky standz up on deh Watchmanz shoulder, tail up and awl deh hairz on hur bak standing on end. Deh lab pawziz, watching hur kwizziklee. Shii leepz tu deh grownd and streekz tu a neerby tree, wif deh lab in hawt pursuit. Safely up on a limb, shii lukz down at deh lab hoo am dansing rownd deh base uv deh tree.
“Wutcha duin up dhere? Kin I kum up? Huh? Wutz up dere?? Iz dere fudz up dhere? Huh? Wen u kumming down? U kumming down now?? Ur gonna bring deh fudz down wif u, aren’t ya?” deh lab asks.
Igor kumz up tu deh lab and gibbingz him a peece uv baykin. Whyle deh lab b nomming, Winky gracefully skitterz down deh tree and returnz tu hur uzuall spot on deh watchmanz sholder.
Deh watchman went on tu welkum awl deh uzzer noo rezidentz uf deh medow. Deh lab gently snuffloled deh liddlol kittenz adn playfully yipped and rolled on hiz bak wen deh kittehz pownced on him.
Deh watchman gently tussloled deh lab and skritched himz eerz. “U make an eggsalad addishin tu deh medow, old boy,” hii sed. “U kin run and jump and romp heer tu ur hartz content. I’m shur Phillipe will kum heer oftin tu vizit wif u.”
Dehn deh nite watchman turned and hedded home.
A wite kitteh-boi wif a stumpee tail named Gabriel sleepingz awl curlinged up under a bush in deh Princess Mu Medow. Hii sleepingz thru deh afternoon and intu deh ebening. Wen hii wakingz up az darkness am fawling, hii lukz arownd. Hii am being bery confuzed. Hii duzn’t recognize enneyfing. There am deh strange bushes and deh strange flowerz and deh strange treez. But mostly derhe am deh strange kitthez.
Kittehz walking; kittehz playing; kittehz washing; kittehz snoozing; kittehz chasing butterflies. Gabriel am skeered bai seeing awl deh kittehz dat hii didn’t noez. So hii skootchinged bak aginst deh bush and madingz himself az liddlol az hii kud.
Then, in deh gazzering darkness, Gabriel herd a skweeking az deh gate tu deh medow wuz opened. Hii skrinched bak intu deh darkness under deh bush eben more. Deh Nite Watchman entered deh medow and greeted deh kittehz.
Hii gave dem eer skritchez adn snorglolz and pettingz. Den hii walkifyinged over tu deh bush dat Gabriel wuz hiding under. Even in deh dark, hii noo deh kitteh wuz there. Deh Nite Watchman slowly nelt down and berry gently pikkinged up deh Gabriel. Gabriel culd tell bai deh majiklol sensez dat kittehz haz, dat dis man wuz speshul. He lissened az deh Nite Watchman talkinged soothingly. Hii sed tu Gabriel, “Ur momma lubbed u so berry muchez and shii noo dat u kud nawt standingz deh painz ennymoar. So shii sendinged u here tu be in peec adn tu wait until shii kud joyning u.”
“But I wantz tu go bak and be wif Mawm. Shii needz mii.”
“I noez u do,” sed deh Nite Watchman. “But dere am no going bak. Dhere am only going on. Ur mawm kud nawt b happy noeing u b in deh painz. U will b free uv deh painz heer. Dhere am deh uzzer kittehz tu playing wif. And ur momma kin kum and viziting u sumtimez and watching u play. U kin halping hur deh mostest bai being happy here.”
Gabriel purred contentedly fur a bit in deh Nite Watchmanz armz. Den hii hoppinged down and ran off tu playing wif a calico kitteh. Deh Watchman pikked a few wite cat hairz off himz uniform az hii walked on thru deh medow.